Close Call

[MaryRobin]

Day 7 for me and I had my closest call yet with vaping again.

My colleague who sits next to me has started vaping at her desk (not allowed, but unless I told on her, no one would find out- so easy to hide), and she was using it a lot today. Then she left for a meeting, and there it was, right on her desk. 
I took a long hard look at it, and my mind was 100% committed to making a stop on my way home to the vape store. My mind said,”It is FINE- don’t put yourself through this quit; just start again and enjoy!!!” Over and over and over again..... And honestly, until I got in the car, I wasn’t sure if I would drive home or make that detour.....

Well, I am PROUD to say I went straight home, no detour to the vape shop. On the drive (once I had passed the shop by) I was relieved that I didn’t give in. That I could come home and hug my kids and still be honest and a non-vaping/smoking mom and wife. That I could come to this site and share that I stayed strong, and you all know how hard that can be in a moment like that. That I could make it, despite this nearly 25 year-old habit and addiction I have. I chose ME over it. But it was a really close call.....

Any one else have a moment they want to share about the day? To all of you who have recently quit juuling/vaping, STAY strong and choose YOU! If I can do it, so can you.

PS-Adding a shot of my daughter and me....She is one of my “living mantras” in this journey.

[YoungAtHeart]

I am not sure which person in that photo is more deserving of an addiction-free Mom  - you or your gorgeous daughter?!

SO glad you got through this one.  It will make the next one easier, I promise.

You might even put the vape in her desk drawer so you don't have to look at (and I would ask her to keep it there in the future).  I would explain to her that you are trying to quit and ask for her help by not doing it in front of you?  Distraction is your best tool in this situation.....even slow/deep breaths, going slower and deeper with each.  Don't sit there and argue with yourself  - change your mind's direction!  Next time a tough situation hits, maybe get up from your desk and take a quick walk.

You did GOOD today!

[MaryRobin]

Thank you so much: Your reply and written pat on the back super appreciated!:)))

[MarilynH]

You did super fantastic today YAY for another Day WON with many more to come you can and will be successful one precious day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time, thank you for sharing the picture of your daughter and you you're both beautiful.....

[MaryRobin]

Thank you so much- it was really hard and I feel empowered to have made it through. So grateful for the support and encouragement from you and the gang here!:))

[JACKIE1-25-15]

I am glad you have made the commitment that no matter what you will not vape.  That is what it takes. NOPE no matter what will keep you free.  You may think about, you may see it BUT because you have made a choice, not to you will be fine.  Stay close.  Thanks for sharing. We believe.  I would so kindly ask your coworker not to vape while you are around.  Let her know that you are on your journey to freedom and it would help you a lot if you did not have to see it. GOOD JOB.  Lovely picture.  Your daughter is the mini you. Beautiful. 

[MaryRobin]

I will talk with my co-worker tomorrow, BEFORE it happens again. I actually had told her that I was quitting but haven’t brought it up this week since I actually quit. I didn’t want it to be weird... Thanks so much for your support and reply.:)) Feels good to have lived through this; I know it will make me stronger for next time I am really challenged.:))

[sweetplt]

Ah MaryRobin Mary Thank you for sharing the nice picture of you and your daughter...I am so glad you didn’t vape...Every trigger/crave/urge you over come ... makes you stronger and nico weaker...I agree with Jackie about you talking to your co worker...I couldn’t be around smokers when I first quit...and now I prefer not to be around it, but if I must, it no longer bothers me at all...you just got to get through the early days.  Day 7 ... is another Day Won...Hell week is over...so proud of you...~ Colleen 302 DOF 

[MaryRobin]

Thanks, Colleen- I thought of all of you on the site today when I was struggling, and how sad it would be for me to have to admit that I had failed if I didn’t make it....It helped a lot. My pride and ego ! are saving me for once!  

It comes in waves.....massive cravings that feel like I have to go back.....like I have given up something I love so much....but in those moments, I see my daughter, and a young version of myself, and think, If I had to do it over, I would never, ever have started smoking. I never want her to, and I do not want to be a hypocrite or liar ever again, thank you, tobacco and vapes of the world! It really is one day at a time, and sometimes, one hour at a time. But I am doing it, and I thank you and the others for the encouragement because if it weren’t for finding you, I don’t think I would be here, a week with no nicotine. I know I wouldn’t. 

[PrimeNumberJD]

I had one not too long ago; I spoke about it. I was on the way to the airport and I was heading through town, I was going to grab a coffee or water or something for the trip. I seen my usual stomping ground and felt like I wanted one. I had dinner dialogue and ended up, just like you, driving by temptation and happy that I did. These thoughts slip in from time to time; I normally welcome them and study them but this one was scary. Leaving town, my kids or anyone at work wouldn't have to know. I would just quit before I returned. I totally get this feeling! I've felt it before and conquered it just like you! Great job.

Then, if making it through that wasn't enough, then you have a metric poop ton of positive reinforcement here. You have positive reinforcement at home too, though it is not as vocal in the sense of they all do not know your struggle. 

That is an absolutely wonderful picture! I don't think I have heard it called a living mantra, but how perfect of a term! You've coined it but I'm going to use it if you don't mind. Stunning you 2 are!

Great job getting through hell week! Great job keeping the Sexy Exers close! Now, if I may ask, do you feel guilt about this quit (referring to your earlier blog)?