Rage

[Megs08]

Oh, the rage. Driving is the worst. I am the angriest driver on the planet. I don't know where it comes from. The person directly in front of, or behind me is the target, for no reason. I am not a confrontational person by nature. I've always been very easy going. I have tried to make conscious efforts to stop. Before I turn the car on I set the intention that I am going to be kind, I am going to be patient, I am going to be safe, but it hasn't failed that not even 2 minutes into any trip I become infuriated at the people around me, whether there is a reason to or not. I need this to stop. I am trying essential oils in the car, as I find they help around the house. I guess what I am hoping for are tips and tricks from anyone who has experienced this with their own quit. I want to be a kind human being. I want to make life easier for those around me. To build folks up. Not to be a negative moment in the day for anyone, including myself. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have never been so enraged. #roadrage‌  #rage‌

[Barbara145]

I think most of us want to be "nice people."  There is goodness  in all of us but  there is a little evil too.  When we are smoking we can just smile and walk away and go SMOKE.  To the point that we really don't know who we are.  Our anger I suspect is all that pent up anger we did not express for a long time.  Be kind and gentle with yourself, (pay attention to the words you use to yourself about you.)  Quitting smoking is a journey to self awareness.  It ultimately makes life sweeter and more honest.    Keep at it.  You will be so grateful that you did.

[Christine13]

I am so sorry you have road rage.  My husband had that a lot when he drove.  I think you need a punching bag to use before you go.  I don't work myself up that way when I drive. There is no point being angry, or impatient, it won't get you there any faster, and you have been working yourself into a tizzy every drive for nothing.  I would look at what else in your life that's making you so angry.  It's not your personality, you want to be kind and patient, but I think something else in your life has you angry and you are not expressing it to that person.  I wish you the best.

Both you and Bernie.

I am praying for both of you.  Bernie, could it be your hormones are imbalanced?  Glad you are seeing a therapist.

Food and what we are eating or not eating affects moods too.

[Gma_Bernie]

Thanks Christine. I would argue that it works the other way around also,

that how we feel can affect our digestion.

On Sat, Aug 18, 2018, 11:50 AM Christine13 <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>

[Pops]

Wow...what a great thing to get out in the open.  As a biker, I can assure you that I have more than enough bad encounters than one person should ever have to endure.  In the beginning, I was reacting with a sincere feeling of hatred and general sense of wishing them a horrible day. (I later realized that was because I was still getting accustomed to my new bike) After I had acquired better riding skills, I became better at accepting I was a better driver than that, and I needed to be a good example of courteous driving.  Now, I just let people go through, or simply give them a friendly wave as they pass, or merge.  Each time I was successful in that, I became less and less given to rage.  That's my experience for what it's worth.  I still slip from time to time...but much less than before.

Pops

[Megs08]

Thank you so much for sharing that. I appreciate it. Focusing on being an example instead of passing judgment is a great tip.

[Cricket]

I drove truck for 15 years and have learned to be very patient of the inconsiderate four wheeler!!

The best advice I can offer you to break this behavior is try allowing yourself a little more time for you to get where you are trying to go.  Taking that pressure off will go a long way towards tollerance!  Before you get in the car to drive, remind yourself it just doesn't matter what they do, what matters is that your safe, and the best way to stay safe is to stay calm!

Make it a game to use your mirrors to evaluate the scean around you.  You can say "That car behind me is going to make a unsafe lane change and zoom around me....yep he did!  I bet he doesen't realize that his unsafe behavior is not getting him there any faster!  Yep see,  He had to stop at the light anyway!"  You really do need to relax and pay attention to your driving because the roadways are more dangerious than ever!  Many drivers are not watching the road because of cell phones.  Watch the traffic and plan an excape so I you are able to make up for their mistakes.

And remember, making a bad choice when you are driving does not make you a bad person anymore that smoking makes you a bad person, it is the behavior that is bad.  Hope this helps.

Cricket 2 DOF 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

In this day and time, road rage has been the cause of senseless death.  You never know when that person with a gun in the car is going to snap or even a follow to create a fight.  I have heard and read stories of the outcome of road rage.  Be mindful it is no longer safe to release your rage on the road.  Find other things to release the frustration.  Punching bag, gym, running, walking, or that thing that you have a passion for that you have set on the sideline. Life is short do not have regrets.  Hoping your issues are resolved before something regretful happens. Just some real talk in this real world. Your life is in your hands in more ways than one when you are driving. 

[Sandy-9-17-17]

Agreed, Jackie, this happened to me just the other night, and when I finally passed the van that was purposely slowing down on a 70 mph highway, because apparently I flashed my lights at him accidentally, when he got off the next exit, I proceeded with high caution to continue on my path of highway, and he slowed way down and had his hand up in a holding a gun sideways mode as if to show he was carrying!!!!! I can't stress enough to get the rage under control.  You just never know who will pull a gun these days, with more and more occurrences! Be smart, be safe!  

[maryfreecig]

     Possibly try to diminish your anger by overstating it while you are driving. Ham it up. Maybe laugh a little at yourself. Another trick I use when I get annoyed with strangers is to say something like, Is that Jesus trying to piss me off?" Feelings are OK so I've learned. They come and they go.

[Megs08]

I really like this. Especially the Jesus bit. That made me giggle. Thank you so much. I tried some breathing techniques which definitely took the edge off. Finding a way to laugh at it is the next step, I think. I am VERY hard on myself. This does not help matters. So far this week has been better. Like everyone else, I've always walked away from negative emotions and used cigarettes as a way to process them. This "processing anger in a healthy way" thing is new to me. I need to learn . Thanks again. I'm going to keep this suggestion in my bag of tricks.