Rage

[Megs08]

Oh, the rage. Driving is the worst. I am the angriest driver on the planet. I don't know where it comes from. The person directly in front of, or behind me is the target, for no reason. I am not a confrontational person by nature. I've always been very easy going. I have tried to make conscious efforts to stop. Before I turn the car on I set the intention that I am going to be kind, I am going to be patient, I am going to be safe, but it hasn't failed that not even 2 minutes into any trip I become infuriated at the people around me, whether there is a reason to or not. I need this to stop. I am trying essential oils in the car, as I find they help around the house. I guess what I am hoping for are tips and tricks from anyone who has experienced this with their own quit. I want to be a kind human being. I want to make life easier for those around me. To build folks up. Not to be a negative moment in the day for anyone, including myself. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I have never been so enraged. #roadrage‌  #rage‌

[Gma_Bernie]

shashort (name?),

Thank you for your concern. I did get in to see a psychologist last week

and we clicked. Am going back week after next to see her again. Venting and

sorting things out loud really helps me.

Love and hugs,

Bernie

On Fri, Aug 17, 2018 at 9:14 PM shashort <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>

[Barbscloud]

Bernie, I'm so glad you're seeing someone.  I was really concerned when I read your post this morning.    Hugs

Barb

[Gma_Bernie]

Thanks Barb.

On Sat, Aug 18, 2018, 12:10 PM Barbscloud <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>

[Giulia]

Shashort's name is Sharon.

Glad you clicked with that psychologist.  She may have many good suggestions.  

[Gma_Bernie]

Thanks Guilia. BTW, is your name pronounced like Julia?

[Giulia]

Yes.  Quite common in Italy.  Though not so here.  My father was Italian.  And first day of school when they read out your name was always AWFUL.  They'd say "Gweelia," etc.  Even a lot of my relatives can't spell it right.  When I go to a doctor's office and they actually can pronounce it right I compliment them! lol  I even have one friend who still calls me gweelia for fun.  I always feel for those poor children whose parents have not only spelled their names differently, just to be different (Barbrya, e.g.)  or created really bizarre names just to be different, for it will wreak HAVOC for the rest of those  kids lives in documentation and just the rest of socialization.)  What makes us uncommon is our personalities, our spirits.  Sorry, waxing.

[YoungAtHeart]

I agree - I wanted to name my second daughter Caitlin but it was not at all common back in 1982 - so I resisted because of exactly what you spell out.  NOW it's as common as can be ---- I always WAS ahead of my time.

...and actually, Emily suits her quite well!!

All is well that ends well!

[GyorgyiM]

If you tried pronouncing my name in my language you would probably spit on me!

Ciao'

Gyorgyi

[Gma_Bernie]

Thanks Sharon

On Fri, Aug 17, 2018, 9:14 PM shashort <communityadmin@becomeanex.org>

[Giulia]

I know this may really be a stupid question but - what exactly are you angry ABOUT?  Are they going too slowly?  Are they going too fast?  Are they on your tail?  Are they passing you dangerously?  Are they flashing their lights furiously at you?  What is it that you want them to do that they are not doing that's causing you the anger?  And if you can't fix them and their driving habits, then it's up to you to fix your own mental attitude about them.   I know you're trying.

Or perhaps you're the one who's on somebody else's tail, flashing your lights, passing too fast and too close because you're mad?  

Either way, it's a bad head place to be.

So how will you prepare for your drive to work tomorrow, given the "normal" circumstances of crazy drivers out there? I think it takes more than aromatherapy and self talk.  If they're on your tail, rather than letting them make you feel stressed out, slow down even more.  And smile when they finally get a chance to pass you and give you the finger.  That's kind of a silly revenge, I know.  But  hey...  If they're going too slowly for you tastes, flashing your lights and putting your nose up against their tail will only make them feel uncomfortable and anxious and put you both in danger if they have to stop suddenly

I usually get angry driving when I have to be somewhere at a certain time.  When I don't, I don't much care how long it takes or what idiots are out there.  Would giving yourself more travel time help, do you think?    Seriously.  I only get angry driving a car when I'm under stress to be somewhere by a certain time.  When I'm late.  And I'm one to never allow enough time.  I'd suggest allowing more time and seeing if that helps release some of your tension and anger.  Leave a half hour earlier.  Try it.  Even if it costs you some sleep.  It won't help your trip home, though sometimes I'd leave a half hour or more later just not to be in the heart of rush hour.  

You say the person in front or behind you is liable to get your wrath "for no reason."  I think there IS a reason.  And I think when you find out what that reason is, you will be able to change your attitude.  And when your attitude changes, so might your anger.  

Do you normally have road rage, or has this just come on since you quit smoking?