I need...

[manik]

a cigarette? Actually no. I want one. I am about to go smoke. I'm still in the "psyching myself up to quit in a few days" phase.

What I need is support. That's what I signed up for. Another addict who gives a shit. I love my girlfriend and it's a good thing she doesn't smoke, for her and for my quitting. But she doesn't understand the addiction. She makes it sound way easier than it really is. I know I can "JUST QUIT" physically, but not mentally. I feel like I'm playing the victim role when I say that, and I hate it. I knew cigarettes where addictive when I started smoking, but I didn't know what an addiction was. Now, I'm terrified of the unending want......coming in a few days. I need to get psyched up. I'm going outside and I'm going to inhale And instead of thinking how good it is I'm going to remind myself how fucking disgusting it is. If only I could remember how nasty it is when I'm nic fitting later....

[manik]

Well, I went outside a few minutes ago. I walked into lovely Saturday clean air and walked in with ashtray mouth. For anyone reading this who has a cigarette tempting them. Let me remind you of what you're missing. The only enjoyable part is the relief of sustaining the monkey on your back. But, it's not that enjoyable cause he'll be hungry again in an hour or so. Besides that the experience was mostly filth. I'm used to the stink cause I'm not quitting quite yet, but for you, you've been clean a little longer. You can't get the smell off, or out of you. No matter how you try to hide it from the person you told, your throat is still tainted. So let your craving subside. Just remind yourself how nasty it is.

[manik]

Person you told = anyone you told you were quitting.

[bonfire817]

Isn't it so sad but true? Last time I quit I started again and tried to hide it from my coworkers. I would drive 50 in the winter time with both windows down on my way in trying to get "rid" of the smell. Pretty sure they could still smell it! I am on my 3rd day (well I have weird hours, I think it's only like 46 hours) and I haven't died yet without one! Seriously, though, I am using patches and it helps me quite a bit. I get a few shitty moments, but I also have the nicotine gum now so I will stop eating crap when I get a strong bad craving. I feel a little like I am loosing my best friend, but I am trying to remember that they are my WORST ENEMY! I've had so many friends that used to smoke tell me eventually, we won't even remember why we WANTED to smoke. I also keep reminding myself how many parts of movies, concerts, etc that I have missed because I HAD to go have one. Plus I want to BREATHE! YOU CAN TOTALLY DO THIS! This site is also totally helping me. I was on it for hours yesterday when I wanted to cry, then laugh, then yell. So keep posting your thoughts and keep your date!