Hi Everyone

[connie2]

I'm new to the forums and thought perhaps some of you might have some suggestions to the person who seems to have tried everything to quit. I saw "Becomeanex.org" on a TV commercial and thought I would give it a shot. I'm 43 and have smoked for 30 years. I'm not a heavy smoker now but 1/2 pak roughly per day. I've tried patches, gum, nicorette, cold turkey, and I keep going back. I really have very little support. Both parents were smokers, but have quit. They aren't the best support because they give me doubt of "Your gonna go back". Then when I fall off the wagon, they aren't surprised. It bothers me because nothing worse than feeling like a failure. Then you feel like "Why did I bother to try in the first place". Since you all are in the same boat, perhaps you'll understand. Anyway, I haven't made a quit date yet, but contemplating July 4th as the "Freedom from Smoking" day. Thought it was kinda catchy!! Now it's just getting the nerve to try AGAIN!!

[manofsteele]

Hello Connie,

You could also think of it as failing every time you let cigarettes win the battle. Learn to love yourself so much that you would never voluntarily poison yourself again no matter if people close to you smoke or not.... you can only solve your problems. You are responsible for your attitude, your body and what you believe. Whatever you believe is true. If you believe you can do it and you are willing to work for it you will find it is possible and you will be so proud of yourself.

Welcome to EX. Many are looking to quit and there are some like myself and some others that have strong quits and are helping those get information to stay smoke free.

Stay positive and I would be glad to help support your smoke free journey. I have a multi-year quit and might be able to help. You can find me at some at these groups ...

http://community.becomeanex.org/group/dailypledge

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Daily Pledge - Quit Party Central - Relapse Traps
Game Room Quit Reasons - Thanks and Praise
Tough Luv - Words of Wisdom - Find a Quit Buddy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Great Reading - http://www.tobacco-facts.info/
For a Free Quit Keeper - http://dedicateddesigns.com/qk/

YOU CAN DO IT ... we can help .....just ask !
5.4 Million die due to smoking related causes every year.
That's 2000 times a 9/11

peace

[cindy25]

I quit using the Ex program. The behavioral approach to separating from my smoking triggers (while still smoking) was the best thing I ever did to build confidence and prep me for dealing with craves. Try it! I also used a little bit of nic gum for the first week to get me through the physical uncomfortableness (just a few pieces per day). This program worked for me!

I have been quit for 1 Month, 1 Week, 3 Days, 22 hours, 39 minutes and 2 seconds (41 days). I have saved $146.79 by not smoking 419 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 10 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 5/11/2008 5:13 PM

[Giulia]

Hey Connie - Welcome!

Forums can be very, very helpful. It's a place to meet people like you, unlike you, people you don't agree with and those you do. Point is we're ALL here to try to help you, in our own, very personal way.

You say you have very little support.. Well, then I can say that coming here was a wise decision, because you'll get a whole bunch of support here. Take what you need and disregard what doesn't work for you.

So you've been smoking since you were 13. Wow. I started at 21. Don't matter, it hooked us just the same. If you haven't read Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way to Stop Smoking" - do. It just might help with the psychology of this addiction. If it doesn't speak to you - toss it.

Seems to me you're a bit preoccupied with falling off the wagon, with failing. Many of us have failed at this game. Some then give up. Some get back on the horse. You're obviously willing to keep getting back on the horse. Which means it's important to you.

Forget your parents and their doubt. You're here because you are willing to try again. Because you keep believing in yourself. Because you're willing to take another chance at this. Talk about bravery! Wow. THAT takes courage, my dear. Don't you doubt it for a second. And if you have that courage - you also have the courage to make it - this time.

You've tried everything? No. You haven't tried making smoking a "no option." Because if you had, you'd be free. Now. Ya know what it takes? It takes the willingness to be uncomfortable - for as long as it takes - to get you to the other side.

I can't speak about this particular program because I quit long before it's existence. But from what I've read and seen - it seems to be working for people. So practice the plan that they set forth. Alter it to fit your particular scenario. One needs to be creative in the quitting process because one size does not fit all.

Write what you feel, write your doubts, write your successes, write your fears and angst and triumphs and determination. Write and read and learn to be free.

We're here for you.

Giulia (2 years 3 mos +)

[connie2]

Thanks Man of Steele!!! You're right!! The right attitude is important and I guess it's time to find it someplace. Wish there were more encouraging people in the world, not just for smoking but for anything.

[connie2]

Thanks Todd. I know and your right, but sometimes it's difficult to keep from thinking that if you have a bad day and break down, you'll end up blaming yourself. I don't want to do that.

[connie2]

Hi Karen, it's really nice to see people that actually understand and are willing to help those that have had difficulty in kicking the habit. Some people can kick it with no problem but then there are those of us who just can't seem to get it right!!! It's nice that people are will to listen and be a support system. I will take the advice. I have absolutely nothing to lose and if I make it great, if I don't, I keep trying again. The less heavy pressure I put on myself, the better. It's one thing to try but to add the extra pressure is a whole other set of problems.

[connie2]

Thanks Giulia. Yes, I am one of those people who keep getting back on the horse...a bucking bronco most times but that's okay, I wait awhile and try again hoping for different results. Hopefully this program will work for me in addition to anything else I may try. Two years is a long time to have quit...I'm lucky to make it 2 days. LOL.

[connie2]

Congratulations Cindy!!! It's really nice to hear people who have quit, no matter if it's for a week, a month, or a year. It helps give me the additional strength to get back up on the horse again. I need to keep in my mind (when those times get rough) that all of you who have responded have quit and made it through those rough times.

[connie2]

From one Connie to another...OMG!! I am so with you on this one!! It is so true. Make up every excuse in the book to cave into the LIES of quitting. Anyone can say "I'm gonna quit smoking" but absolutely, staying quit is the hardest. I enjoy smoking but...I also hate it. Almost all of my friends are smokers or were smokers (some have quit), and I start socializing with the friends that do smoke and I am always right back at it again. I had quit smoking about 12 years ago for about 2 months and had a girlfriend staying with me. She was working part-time at a nightclub and asked me to stop by after I got out of school. She too was a smoker. Of course I went in, had a couple of cocktails and then "Can I have a puff off of your cigarette?". Thats all she wrote!!! I just have to be stronger than the cigarettes and that is not going to be an easy task. I've heard all the lies of why I shouldn't quit or why I should start again. Again, it's almost like I'm put in situations to test my strength/willpower. It's never just something thats easy to do. I hate it so much!!! I hate having something that has that much control over me. It really ticks me off and when I've failed in the past, it's like it's won again and it's telling me "HA, HA I won and you're not all that!!". Did you go cold turkey or have the smoking aids to help?

[connie2]

Thanks Karen. People who have quit do have a tendency to forget and it bothers me a lot when those who have quit make it sound like it was the easiest thing in the world. It's like they all wake up one morning and toss their smokes and say "I'm tired of these and I'm done" and thats it. They never talk about the cravings because they all have said "I just made up my mind that I was done. I never went back or had the desire to go back." They make you feel like you are supposed to feel this way too. It would be so nice if we could all wake up and toss our smokes to never want or have the urge or desire to smoke again but somehow not all of us are programmed that way.