I let a lot of people down, but most of all - myself. Yesterday was day 11 of my quit - and I slipped 😞 As much as I'd love to blame my husband for telling me again and again "Just one won't hurt", I know I only have myself to blame. Of course that "one" turned into 4 more. I wanted to pretend it never happened and just go on with my quit watching the 'double-digit' days keep adding up. But that wouldn't benefit me or anyone else. So I've reset my clock. Man that was hard to do!
I am back on track with my quit and will continue to push as hard as I can for it and then some. I'm not looking for anyone to tell me "It's OK" that I failed, because it's not ok. I beat myself up for it pretty bad yesterday, but that's not going to help either. So all I can do is recommit myself to this new quit and strive to succeed and really work on this 'mind over matter' thing. I HATE cigarettes, I hate them for amount of control they have over my body and mind, I hate them for the stains and smell that they leave and I hate them for taking me away from the important things in life.
I again feel like I've wasted the time and energy of so many that commented and encouraged me daily. For that I am sorry. One way or another, I WILL succeed at quitting whether it takes 5 tries or 50. One day I will be here on this blog celebrating 100 days, a year, and so on.
I'm unsure yet if I will blog this week or not. My blog is such an up and down roller coaster already as it is. I know that I will come back to it and read my previous posts and comments that have been left often because the comments are so encouraging.
