Quit number 100,000,000,000,000 😁

[2019steph]

I started smoking at twelve years old. I thought it was cool until around 19 -20 years old, and I've been struggling with my addiction ever since, I'm 28 now. I wish I had never started and I feel like I'm under hopless control of cigarette.s. I beat myself up everyday for being to weak to quit, and I feel like I'll never be successful. I understand the power of addiction in the brain and  and of thoughts and core beliefs, but I am at a loss and completely dumb founded by the fact that I can't give cigs up despite the fact I despise myself for smoking. Talk about cognitive dissonance, how long must I stay in this state of cognitive dissonance before I finally stop, it's been at least 8 years?

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

Your next quit will be successful because you will first educate yourself about this addiction, you will plan, prepare, seek support from a group of people who have walked the walk (us!) and then commit to never smoking another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT.  This is a strong addiction, but we can help you overcome all but the final point...you must bring the commitment.  I think you will find it easier to do that once you have educated and prepared this time.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. If you do nothing else to get ready for your quit, please do give this a read.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for four reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion,  3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire and 4) you can become addicted to that and it has not yet been proven safe .
 

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[sweetplt]

Hello and Welcome to Ex’s...2019steph 

Think about it...many of us smoked for 40 years and have physical problems due to smoking and yet we quit...You can too...You my dear are young and it is so wonderful that you want to rid this addiction...I am humbled by you...take this a step at a time...and read at My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX there you will set a quit date and prepare and plan for that day like no other...You will come here and get help and/or encourage others to quit...We are here for you...keep us posted and keep close to hear...Happy Saturday ~ Colleen 348 DOF 

[AnnetteMM]

Shouldn't be long at all now that you're here! Welcome, and please please please do the reading recommended!

You are not weak and you are not dumb.

You are addicted to nicotine, and you can free yourself.

[Barbscloud]

Welcome.   I know you're feeling bad, but I think it's great that you want to quit "only" after 8 years.  That's give you a head start on most of us.  I smoked for 50 years and this is my most successful quit.  Just think you haven't exposed yourself as long to all the consequences of smoking.   It's not easy, but you can do it by educating yourself about nicotine addiction and creating a quit plan.  Be prepared for what life throws your way good and bad, will lead to success.  We're here for you.   Just take the first step and we'll be here to support you on your journey.

Barb

[2019steph]

I know 14 years isn't long compared to other people! But wow it's hard to succeed and each failure is like a confirmation of the impossible feat at hand. I set another date for Monday. Like always I'm excited but I have doubts.

[Barbscloud]

Sorry I misread  about the 8 years, but 14 is still better in comparison to most of us. Have you read the material suggested and created an actual quit plan?   Have you given thought to whether you're doing it cold turkey, use NRT, or medication?   I believe I failed so many times for two reasons.  First, we pick a date and say we're going to quit without truly be prepared for what to expect.  We just kind of wing it.  Understanding the addiction is eye opening.  The one thing that really made the difference for me was when I read that we think smoking relieves our stress, sadness, is a way to celebrate, etc.   When in fact, nicotine was designed to last a short period time in our bodies.  That's whey we crave a cigarette about every hour.   So, in fact, smoking didn't do everything we thought it was.  We just needed to satisfy our addiction over and over  again.   And secondly, having a support group like the Ex.   Especially early in my quit, I had somewhere to go when I didn't think I could make it and there was always someone there to talk me down off the ledge.  I suggest you spend  a lot of time here.  Posting or just reading.   New and old quitters  are here to share what your experiencing on this journey.  It is a journey with different rewards and challenges along the way.  

Barb

[2019steph]

I was thinking of going cold turkey with no nrts but I'm wondering if gum might help while I build confidence. I'm not sure.

[2019steph]

I've read a lot of articles on here and I fiound this site through the nobutts app. So I've set up there and here. I do think that this group will help the most just knowing that I'm talking to people who have done it or are doing it, should really help me through this.

[Giulia]

I had to look that number up!  So, this is your one hundred trillionth quit.  Hmmmm.  Maybe we can help it be your last.  I don't think I can count past that!

Some questions for you:  What have you tried in the past and how much of a concerted effort have you put into it previously?  Once you answer that for yourself, the next question is - what are you going to do differently?   Because obviously whatever you have done before hasn't worked in the long run.  So you need to determine what will.  

I stayed in that state of cognitive dissonance until I finally got to the point where I simple couldn't face another Day One.  Once I quit the last time (13 years ago), I really couldn't stand the thought of going through the start-up process again.  Ever.  I wanted that to be the last time.  I wanted that more than I wanted to quit.  There came that time when it was easier to become and remain smoke free than to begin anew and I had reached it.

For many of us quitting must become a priority in life.  All our attention must be focused on it.  It must consume us.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2018/11/20/make-quitting-your-passion   I believe we conquer this addiction, ultimately,  by changing our thinking.  And that takes a lot of work.  Unless one is graced with an epiphany.

So begin at the beginning, make a concerted plan, spend time on here reading daily (that's what many of us did in the beginning).  It really does boost motivation.  It was education and support that enabled me, finally, to become Free.  Those are the keys.  

"how long must I stay in this state of cognitive dissonance before I finally stop" - my answer: when you've finally had enough of that state of being, you will change it.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2017/09/27/quantum-leaps 

Welcome to our quit family.

[2019steph]

I've really been catching my thoughts and opposing them when they're negative.

[Barbscloud]

Successful quitters on this site have used every method to quit.  You could go cold turkey and just have some gum around for backup.  And definitely get rid of any cigarettes you may have.   It's just too tempting!  Remind yourself of two things repeatedly:  "It's one day at a time" and "I don't do that anymore." Both worked for me.  Pick a day and share it with us.

Barb

[2019steph]

Also haha, I just kept adding zero's until I was satisfied that the number depicted my frustration at failed attempts

[JonesCarpeDiem]

So you've never quit before?

In my nearly 13 year quit I've seen most people give up in the first four months.

/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months?sr=search... 

Don't fight with yourself. It just wears you out.

Willingness NOT Willpower

[2019steph]

Yeah I've tried quitting many times. The longest was A two month quit that I had no plan what so ever for. Just woke up in the am with an empty pack and never went and got another. I never talked about it, never thought about it, never cared. But I kept drinking and two months later was smoking again. That was my most successful quit maybe back in 2014. I 'quit' almost weekly lately but they don't last a day or two...

[JonesCarpeDiem]

If you don't think you can do it without an NRT, I would suggest the patch. You don't control it so you have to trust it. You base the patch on the number of cigarettes you were smoking a day the week before you quit. I forgot to wear it two days in a row my second week so I put one in my wallet with the promise I would put it on and wait for it to kick in rather than smoke. I kept it in my wallet for my first year. Never needed it.

Making such deals with yourself based upon logic can keep you on track.

[Giulia]

THAT's a great way to retrain the brain.  You keep doing that, ya hear?!

[indingrl]

Welcome

[maryfreecig]

Welcome to Ex!!!  Quitting is doable. And Ex is here to help. You might feel discouraged because you've never quit with a group of quitters who get the ups and downs and the recover--which will come to you one day at a time as you smober up.

I hope you take the time to read some of the stuff below.

/blogs/Marilyn.H.July.14.14.-blog/2019/10/28/with-committment-we-can-will-succeed 

/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2019/08/05/give-this-the-time-it-takes 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/newbie-quitters/blog/2019/01/27/one-of-the-greatest-tools-... 

Quitting Smoking is a Journey - YouTube 

Quitting Cigarettes Journal my story

[2019steph]

Thank you so very much!!

[2019steph]

I am sometimes it works sometimes it just doesn't but that's how it goes!

[Giulia]

Retraining takes constant reiteration.  Eventually it gets easier and easier.

[2019steph]

So you just didn't use them but having them just in case helped your confidence?

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I used them until I forgot to put one on two days in a row.

I played guitar 10 hours a day at a friends house my first two weeks. (dopamine)

[redluvr]

I was amazed at how effective the NRT patch was. I feel like the act of putting it on reinforced my desire to quit in a way that gum or lozenges didn't (since that was something I put in my mouth just like a cigarette). The first day I wore the patch at work, I had a moment I think I'll always remember. My thought was, "This is weird. I am at work and taking a break. Any other day I'd be thinking about smoking, but I don't feel the need to now."

I think that was the first time it felt like I had a real shot at winning. 

[YoungAtHeart]

Kudos to you, redluvr , for understanding that you needed to work on your associations and triggers while the patch provided the drug.  A lot of people expect the NRT to do it all, and don't realize that it takes effort to get past the psychological aspect of the addiction.

[2019steph]

Nice way to create dopamine!

[Court2Knee]

The human mind is capable of doing miraculous things if we are ready to make a change!