Today makes day 46 of my quit and I don’t miss it. About a week ago I did and almost gave in. I was stressed out and thought I was at my limit. Someone was smoking around me and I almost asked them for a cigarette. Had that internal conflict where one side of me was saying to smoke, that it wouldn’t hurt. The other side was saying that it wouldn’t fix anything I’d only feel better for a short while then I’d be feeling regret. Started thinking about why I’m quitting. I’m glad I didn’t let myself down by smoking. I didn’t want to post on here that I gave in and felt like I let y’all down either. On days like today, I let myself celebrate the fact that I’m getting more free, how long it’s been since I’ve dipped or smoked and the fact that no matter what happens in life atleast I’m not chained down like I used to be. I’ve noticed big improvements in boxing since quitting. I have better cardio, I’m more athletic and fear has gone way down. I’m more open to people around me. There’s definitely days where I’m sad and closed off from people and can’t see what started it but I remind myself I’m still healing. Luckily those days are getting fewer and further in between.
