Too sick to get out of bed.

[j3ffmeadowsgm]

@Barbscloud  I was too sick to get out of bed today. I've never been in this much pain before. I am smoking tobacco out of a rolled up piece of aluminum foil and it is making me very sick. I have come close to calling 911 again but going to the hospital is too much and they don't do anything.

Thank you Barbscloud for your support.

[Barbscloud]

@j3ffmeadowsgm What?  Why are you smoking tobacco in a piece of aluminum foil?   Aren't there people in the facility your living at there to help you?  What kind of pain?

Sorry for the all the questions.  Worried - what is going on?

Barb

[j3ffmeadowsgm]

I am having trouble breathing and it is causing my diaphragm to hurt. I am smoking in my bedroom now and that is against the rules.

I am in constant pain in my lungs and diaphragm and it is effecting my sleep.

My medication causes my feet to move and I pace back and forth in my bedroom by walking in place since my bedroom is too small. 

I am out of tobacco now till the end of the month. Now starts the hard part. I have ceased to smoke cold turkey 🦃.

[Anonymous]

They won’t do anything if you don’t do anything . It starts with your willingness to make change in the things you do that make you sick . Do you want you to be healthy and not in pain . You are worth it.  So please take care and stop these senseless things that are bringing you pain so the healing can begin . You have to first care about yourself and make change . You can do it . We are not drs or specialists , and you need to speak with them . Please go , try again , be willing to hear them because they are there to help  you if you are willing to be helped . I look forward to hearing your progress , with them by your side guiding your way to better health and happier days . 

[j3ffmeadowsgm]

Thank you for your kind words.

I am out of tobacco till the end of the month. I am hoping not smoking will make me feel better. I have a new roommate and he is less than desirable. He is outside now buying marijuana which he smokes in his room every night. He stopped smoking it in the bathroom. I told staff and they said to notify them next time he smokes but I can't bring myself to do it. I have been smoking tobacco in my bedroom and it is against the rules.

[j3ffmeadowsgm]

@Anonymous  thank you for your kind words.  I am trying to reduce my smoking and now I am completely out of tobacco.

[CommunityAdmin]

@j3ffmeadowsgm That sounds really dangerous. I'm guessing there are other things than alumium on that foil which could make you sick. Not to mention it could possibly melt and burn you while the tobacco is burning.  Is there someone close to you who can come and take care of you? This is very worrisome. 

Can you elaborate on why the hospital is too much? Is there a care facility that you can get admitted to that isn't the hospital?

[j3ffmeadowsgm]

@CommunityAdmin everyone tells me aluminum foil is unhealthy. 

I really appreciate the work you do in the Ex community and thank you for replying to my post.

I have no immediate family to take care of me. The hospital is no help but they did provide me with a prescription for anti anxiety medication Buspar. I have to make an appointment with my primary care physician to continue with the prescription. 

I lived in my last apartment for six years and Equinox did not help me move. I am in a supportive housing program. I got too sick to take my medications and they had me move to the main facility.

Equinox staff says if I can manage my medication for three weeks they will put me on self administered medication. They said if I manage my medications they will find me my own apartment.

[j3ffmeadowsgm]

@CommunityAdmin the hospital just hooks me up to the heart monitor and tests my blood. I am not sick enough to get into the psychiatric center. They are not a suitable setting and I don't need to surrender my belt and shoe laces in case I try to kill myself. The psychiatric center is not a comfortable place to live. They have two levels of lock down at the psychiatric center. I tried their crisis program and they evaluated that I am not seeing things or hearing voices. Now I am hearing voices and I am sure this psychotic condition is brought on by the level of nicotine in my system and that I am two weeks late for my anti psychotic injection.

I really like this group. I am in the Pivot program for smoking cessation and I have a coach but she is 26 years old and there is not much we have to talk about.

[j3ffmeadowsgm]

@Barbscloud I had to give up my computer and internet connection. I am using a phone to write this and the formatting on the post causes my phone to freeze.

The housing program I am in is really broken. Staff don't care. They barely answer the phone when I call. It makes my depression really bad and the voice in my head tells me there is no point in living.

I am several weeks late for my anti psychotic injection and that shot helps me deal with psychosis. It helps moderate the voice in my head.

I don't know how I am going to manage not having tobacco.