Day 9 was a lot like day 8. I had a few small cravings and 2 pretty intense ones. Nothing that a few deep breaths couldn't take care of. I realized today that it's not that the cravings are getting less it's just that I'm getting used to dealing with them and brushing them off or distracting myself. Thinking about them is more overwhelming for me.
What's really bothering me is that I still feel like I'm not FREE from sickorettes. I feel like they still control me. I'm still avoiding situations and people because I'm afraid I wont be strong enough to stay quit. I know I can do it, I'm just scared. I'm also Exhausted!!! What's up with that? I don't drink coffee right now because it's a trigger for me but I have been drinking a redbull every morning. I find myself yawning halfway through that redbull. My work day feels foggy and weird and then when I get home around 6, I want to hop right into bed.
My daughter went to my uncle's house last night to stay the night with his grand daughter. My uncle smokes TRAINS! I'm telling you he smokes Marlboro red 100s and he lights his new smoke off his old one. Today after work, I went to pick up my kiddo and I went into the garage to see my uncle (that's where he smokes) THAT MAN STINKS!! If anyone needs a good reason to stay quit give me a call and I'll send you over to his place! I thank the lord that he doesn't smoke inside of his house, I wouldn't be able to let my daughter stay and she loves it there. That's all I got tonight, It's 8:15 and I'm pooped.
OH! I almost forgot to tell yall. Last night the hubby came into the bedroom while I was sleeping it was like 2am and he woke me up to tell me that he is SOOO PROUD OF ME, and that he admires my self control! He made me feel like a million bucks. If he only knew the struggle I deal with inside my head ALL DAY LONG! Anyway, I just thought it was so sweet of him to give me that positive feed back!
Til Tomorrow!
AmandaJ
