I smoked a pack a day for 20 years. Some days more, some days less. I just turned 39 and I told myself I have to quit before 40.
I am 45 days into my quit and I have convinced myself I'll never smoke again. I don't think about stopping at a gas station, I don't even think about asking my friends (they ALL smoke) for one at the golf course or in their company.
However, I am beyond depressed and anxious. I never suffered from these things as a smoker. I find no joy in anything. My work is suffering. MY schoolwork is suffering. I'm not myself around my wife and kids. I'm nervous to be alone because of fear of crazy panic attacks. I'm always tired regardless of how much sleep I get. I've convinced myself that every ache and pain is due to irreversible damage I've already done to by body, and those thoughts trigger more worry. I'm not sure how long I can take it.
My doctor says my health is good. I have started seeing a therapist (just one visit so far). I've started yoga and bicycling. It's distracting temporarily, but then it's right back to down and anxious.
I'm terrified because I see people 3 months and 6 months into their quits that are still experiencing this. Does it ever end? Will I ever enjoy life again?
Can someone please show me some kind of light at the end of this tunnel?