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16 year old son who doesn't care about dangers!

Question asked by bkufeld on Dec 21, 2019
Latest reply on Feb 12, 2021 by KellanC74
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Hi, I am new to this group. I have a 16 year old son who vapes. He keeps denying it, but we keep finding vapes and I have actually caught him vaping in his room. As much as we impart the dangers of vaping to him, he tunes us out and doesn't seem to care. Grounding him is not the answer as it doesn't eliminate the behavior. How can I really get through to him and trust him to go back to his friends house where his friends vape. I am sure this post is very common. Any help, suggestions or shared experiences that u can help, I'd appreciate it. Thanks so much.

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ClearColors Dec 21, 2019 10:14 PM
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Welcome bkufeld.
WhispersQSMB has done a bit of research on vaping. I'm curious if he has any suggestions?

What I have found that might help is, to show how they are being manipulated.
I remember reading how teenagers upon learning that they were being manipulated by Big Tobacco, reacted strongly against nicotine.

also
https://e-cigarettes.surgeongeneral.gov/documents/SGR_ECig_ParentTipSheet_508.pdf

Your son is lucky to have a concerned parent.
best to you and yours,
Nancy
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Barbscloud Dec 22, 2019 6:50 AM
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Sorry about your son. It's not easy to change someone's behavior, especially if they have an addiction-nicotine in this case. The Ex is part of the Truth Initiative and there is a also a site now to help young people to quit vaping. You might find it helpful.
Barb

https://www.thetruth.com/articles/hot-topic/quit-vaping
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KellanC74 Dec 22, 2019 11:19 AM
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I am a parent of a 15 year old that decided to vape and drink. Even after getting a concussion.... But I was able to restrict who she hung out with/slept over at with friends. I was not able to stop the friendship but I was still smoking and telling my kid not to vape, then when it came time for my health and knowing I needed to be the example I have quit. My kid now tells me that if she had known the consequences of vaping she would never had tried it
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Giulia Dec 22, 2019 1:52 PM
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Here another link that might assist: https://truthinitiative.org/thisisquitting from which the one above stems.
And a couple more that may help:
Teen smoking: How to help your teen quit - Mayo Clinic
How to Help Teenagers Quit Vaping - The New York Times

And if they watch this cartoon, it might open their eyes a bit (just exchange the work smoking with vaping).
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indingrl Dec 22, 2019 6:51 PM
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Welcome and I am so very sorry YOUR son NICOTINE addiction - prayers lifted for YOU and family - in MY Lord Jesus name amen
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WhispersQSMB Dec 25, 2019 4:20 PM
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After i quit smoking i used Blu and vaped, its the same, same buzz and your son is addicted and will lie to you to hide it from you. You have educate him about the dangers of nicotine.
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LynnK Dec 30, 2019 5:08 PM
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I am no help...but
I also have a 16 yr old son that chooses to vape. Except he isn't vaping nicotine. He is vaping the synthetic marijuana. I am at the end of my rope with him. I have grounded, talked, begged, pleaded, talked to all his friends(they do it too) followed him to his source. Talked to law enforcement....What else can I do?
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- Giulia @ LynnK on Dec 30, 2019 7:54 PM
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  My heart goes out to you. I wish I had an answer. Has he perhaps seen any of the news articles on those who have died from vaping THC? Or is it just mom telling him? And would it even have any impact if you put them in front of him? Probably not. As an ex smoker - it was never going to happen to me. We all stuck our heads in the sand. Some wised up too late after there was no hope for future quality of life. Some wised up after their health had already been compromised but could still have quality of life. You can't make somebody do what they don't want to do. We each have our wising up time. I hope his comes soon than later.
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Cousin-Itt Dec 30, 2019 5:56 PM
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LynnK and bkufeld My very first concern would be to make sure that they are not vaping black market oils especially THC / Cannabis oils as these are believed to be causing the illnesses.
Christmas Eve my nephews 23 year old girl friend was vaping right next to me I looked at her and asked her notto do it by me due to my COPD She apologized and I asked about vaping She looked at me and she goes I hear from my parents constantly She was polite wasn't rude and went outside the rest of the night. It reminded me when I was16 and get caught smoking pot and cigarettes I caught hell the more they preached the better I hid it and the more I stayed away from the house and less I talked to them. Just my opinion Try to find away to talk to them without beating them up or talking down to them I don't know how but I would ask some one I hope for the best
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- LynnK @ Cousin-Itt on Dec 31, 2019 1:23 AM
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  I know for a fact that he is getting the black market stuff. The sherrifs department has already talked to the owner of the convience store where the kids here buy the stuff. and he said he would give him another visit.... deputy said that i couldnt press charges because i didnt have the product that they sold my son. which i think is BS. im just looking for a place to vent...
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  - Cousin-Itt @ LynnK on Dec 31, 2019 6:06 AM
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    LynnK Is their a uncle / aunt or someone your son always looked up to and like that he might listen to
    and if the store owner is selling to minors it seems your sheriff's department could do more than talk to him
    Try getting more parents involved and your local newspaper
    I do wish you the best
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    - LynnK @ Cousin-Itt on Dec 31, 2019 10:27 AM
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      His older brother, but he just tries to avoid him now...
      I had to go pick him up from the police station at 3am this morning. He sneaked out of the house and left with his buddies. They were all (at least 6 of them) picked up while hanging out at the ball park, high as a kite. My son tells the cops that it was his "weed" I think one of the boys is 18, so here my son is trying to protect him.
      Your advice is comforting. maybe he will out grow this and become a productive member of society, IDK..
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KellanC74 Dec 30, 2019 10:25 PM
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There was a kid at the local high school that was given a vap pod laced with something else. Between classes the kid vaped and had a seizure the next class...I wish that there had been more things that I could have educated my daughter about last year but this year she said to me I wish I had never done that cause if I had known I would never had tried as she read/watched the news about kids in the hospital with lung issues from vaping
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WhispersQSMB Dec 31, 2019 1:34 AM
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That black market stuff is all over, kids are kids and if 1 adult supports the use of it, makes it harder for you to get through to them.. This came out a few months back, crazy

Vapers seek relief from nicotine addiction in — wait for it — cigarettes
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- LynnK @ WhispersQSMB on Dec 31, 2019 10:30 AM
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  It is terrible here. When these immigrants started operating 99% of the convenience stores in this area, the problem exploded. All they care about is getting that $$$ and we are just handing it over to them. Makes me sick.
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  - WhispersQSMB @ LynnK on Dec 31, 2019 12:42 PM
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    Im in NY and its the same here, they get busted but open up in a new name. They sell swag ciggs to drugs/pills in the stores. I have walked into these stores and its not setup like a normal store at all, no newspapers, bongs all over, the deli case are so nasty only a person high or inebriated would order something. These people have multiple names, hopefully your son wakes up. Why not try getting him to watch the show intervention or something to show him what addiction can turn into. Intervention Full Episodes, Video & More | A&E
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Mark Feb 11, 2021 12:13 AM
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bkufeld

Visit This is Quitting with your child. We have text messages for your child and other information for you to review.

Check out For Parents — Parents Against Vaping E-cigarettes Resources.

Here is one of their videos in their resources to help start those conversations

Kids and E-Cigs: What Parents Should Know - YouTube
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CrazyQuitter Feb 11, 2021 5:45 PM
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I have never had kids. But I can see that as a mother you are rightfully worried about your son. At the end of the day he is old enough to make his own decisions. If he ever decides to stop vaping do what a mother does best and just support him. What I can suggest though is try to educate him even if he doesn't care about the danger. There is new research coming out all the time. Let us know how you go
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KellanC74 Feb 12, 2021 3:32 PM
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I will support my daughter but I will be providing her with what will happen if she continues to use the vape...asthma symptoms will get worse
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16 year old son who doesn't care about dangers!

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