So sorry that you are struggling so...after five years quit, I cannot imagine how disappointed you have to be to have started smoking again. My favorite mantra when I quit...on this site, was NOPE, Not One Puff Ever. You cannot smoke just one "they travel in packs." I felt love and support here and after over four years, I am still coming here every day unless I cannot because life gets in the way. You CAN do this, you have to be willing to go through the hard times and know that they will pass and that YOU will be stronger for it. You will feel better about yourself and you will feel empowered to help others. I really think that education about this addiction is a HUGE key and not getting complacent with your quit is also vital to keeping it. I suggest that you make a plan...there are many suggestions and paths on the page where you sign in. Expect that it is not going to be easy, expect that there will be roadblocks, there will be times when the addiction tries to pull you back in. Staying close to a site like this one has been the most important thing for me. Please remember that the feeling of "relaxation" that you got when you smoked that cigarette was precisely the same feeling that a heroin addict gets as he or she puts that needle into a vein. It is the addiction telling you that you feel relaxed and that relaxation lasts only as long as the drug is at a high enough level in your body to keep you comfortable. It is so not worth it. I smoked for 47 years...now, I have COPD, I had to have both upper lobes of my lungs surgically removed. I am short of breath with the least exertion...I am on oxygen at night. I KNOW that I have shortened my life, I KNOW that my time with my children and my grandchildren is limited...I am doing everything I can to take care of myself now...I work out, I eat well, I come here, I ALLOW myself to FEEL and I don't shove my feelings down with cigarettes. Finally, after all of these years, I know that it is okay to feel. I really hope you join us and restart your journey, you have a lot to offer to others. We are here, my friend...we all want you to succeed.
Welcome to EX.
Ellen
. Last weekend I read the Allen Carr book again and smoked my last cig on Saturday. I was good for 2 days, but the last two days were a living nightmare. In my head? I know I'm killing myself, that I have no benefit from cigarettes, I do not work out when I smoke, have no motivation, I am depressed. And after all this, I bought a pack today. so so weak. and it gives me nothing. I smoked, and felt the relaxation, but know it gives me nothing. I do not know what else to do, I can't win this. Just thought I'd share with folks that get this frustration.
