After smoking for about fifteen years on and off (off when pregnant), my husband and I finally decided to quit at the end of last year. We started on the patch and were starting out pretty well, with minimal mood swings. But we weren’t connecting like we used to. Before, at the end of the day after we put the kiddos to bed, we would sit outside, smoking and talking for hours. After quitting, it was just distract, distract, distract. We weren’t connecting anymore. We replaced cigarettes with a TV.
After about a month, my husband started up again. He found his own loophole- rolling his own cigarettes with loose tobacco, and he’d have one or two at the end of the day. This has progressed to more and more throughout the day. Now he sits outside, where we used to sit together, alone while I’m still distracting myself with the TV. I know he’s got his own process to go through but I’m having the hardest time being close to him. I thought we’d be each other’s support systems, but I now feel I have no one. I hid my smoking from family, and my friends either still smoke or never did.
On top of all this, a few weeks ago the depression and anxiety kicked in, and hard. I’ve done so much reading on all of these topics already but what I think I really need is an actual person who understands, who’s been here or somewhere close... or just some support. I don’t want to give in just so I can be close to my husband again.