Smoke Free Snow Day

Discussion created by Deb-EX on Dec 16, 2017
Latest reply on Dec 22, 2017 by elvan

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That moment your mind glitches back to a memory of " Let me grab a cigarette and go outside" It happens so fast and it feels so real that when you say to yourself "I don't do that anymore" I have to be honest it can feel like a let down.

Good news is I got over it! I stood outside in the beautiful snowy scenery and breathed in the beautiful clean air.

Deep breaths in through my nose and slowly out of my mouth, over and over... No coughing!!

Ya know what I have NEVER felt prouder of myself than I did in that moment!

34 days SMOKE FREE!! I never thought I would ever get this far!

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42 Replies

Mortalzeus Dec 16, 2017 11:19 AM
Well done, Congratulations on 34 DOF! I Just love that image and those icicle lights
Darren
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- Deb-EX @ Mortalzeus on Dec 16, 2017 4:02 PM
  Thank you Darren !! It was a beautiful day!! But oh so cold.... Burrr
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Anya Dec 16, 2017 2:56 PM
Being mindful of the little joys, like being able to take a deep breath, stopping and really taking in nature, and the wonderful body feelings of having more energy and wellbeing when taking a walk or exercising.....these things are so essential for my quit.

Smoking, even one puff, would bring those good feelings crashing down faster than a blink of your eye!

Congratulations on your continued commitment and success! We are so proud of you too!!!

Anya

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- Deb-EX @ Anya on Dec 16, 2017 4:14 PM
  Its so true Anya!! Smoking would have ruined the whole moment! So grateful that I'm seeing all these changes in my brain after 35 years of smoking.. Praise God.
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maryfreecig Dec 16, 2017 5:09 PM
Thanks for sharing your experience, strength and hope. Your smobriety progress is awesome-- keep up the good work. Happy 34.
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YoungAtHeart Dec 16, 2017 5:29 PM
What a beautiful snowy scene and a beautiful, clean smelling, cold, clear, deep breathing quit you have going. Those thoughts WILL come from time to time. Good job getting past them!
Nancy
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dwwms Dec 16, 2017 7:03 PM
Congratulations on 34 days! We had snow last weekend, it really does feel good to go outside and breathe in the cold air that's clean without poisoning the experience! You should be proud!
It's occurred to me this past week when it's been cold and windy at times how nice it is that I don't have to bundle up, go outside, shiver the whole time, just to feed the addiction. Freedom feels great!
Doug
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elvan Dec 16, 2017 7:36 PM
Deb-EX What a beautiful picture...both of them...the photograph and the mental image of you breathing in that cold, clean air and then exhaling slowly. You gave me a big smile and I NEEDED one.
XOXO,
Ellen
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- Deb-EX @ elvan on Dec 17, 2017 7:31 AM
  Good Morning Ellen!! Giving you a needed smile makes me SMILE! I hope your feeling better this Sunday morning and I really hope that your off today to get some much needed rest!
  
  XOXO
  Debbie
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  - elvan @ Deb-EX on Dec 17, 2017 10:34 PM
    I made cream puff filling and the puff pastry...I am just finishing that up, still need to do cookies and cinnamon rolls but they will be easy compared to these. I am exhausted...my feet hurt, my sciatica is wicked.....I will be glad to see my rheumatologist on Tuesday and hope that she will inject my hip...she has done it in the past and it helps with the sciatica. I went to Walmart today and showed the managers my heels...I told them that I wasn't after anything but the way they treated me made me feel like they thought I was and it was entirely unacceptable. They were very apologetic and said they would call or email me in a couple of days, they asked if I wanted to see a doctor, I told them that I don't think there is anything a doctor can do. One of the managers said those carts are really dangerous, I told her that I agreed and I, in no way, blamed the woman who was driving it but I felt like the staff could have at least acted more concerned. I realize they had no idea how bad my heels were but they should always treat people like they care, even if they don't. Somehow, I felt better after that...I NEVER would have done that when I was still smoking.
    
    I hope you have a great night, I am about to pass out myself.
    XOXO,
    Ellen
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    - Daniela2016 @ elvan on Dec 17, 2017 11:11 PM
      You are superwoman elvan Ellen, baking so much after you worked yesterday, and got injured on Friday, that is pure Christmas dedication! Santa will certainly stop at your house. I am sorry your back hurts, but nor surprising after all the efforts you made. I hope you get some rest tonight, and the Dr gives you a shot in the hip. I had them in my lower back and knees, they take a while, but then they really helped! Sweet dreams dear lady, and I am happy you went to Walmart and let them know about the dangers they are harboring. Maybe someone smart enough will make a report to executive management, and you have helped future potential victims!
      Sleep well, love you lady!
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      - elvan @ Daniela2016 on Dec 17, 2017 11:39 PM
        Daniela2016 Love you too...I am going to get some sleep, I have a few things to finish up tomorrow but I am glad that this stuff is done.
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    - Deb-EX @ elvan on Dec 18, 2017 1:58 PM
      HI ELLEN!!! OMG.. You are TO much... Your family must have a ball trying to keep you rested, is that even possible? I agree with Daniela you ARE SUPERWOMEN!!! You did all this over the weekend so I am hoping your back has settled down - sciatica pain is the worst pain ever!
      
      My whole family was "gifted" with a stomach virus starting Thursday night. I mean one by one we dropped like flies. Thursday night my husband John, Friday night my son CJ and Saturday night me! Come last night I was up 24 hours plus straight. It was horrible!! I am feeling better today though, this morning I was sitting back in my son's school watching him get his "high honor roll" award Than off to the stores running around trying to catch up on ALL the things I wasn't able to do over the weekend. Mom's don't have time for sickness! Now I am home CLEANING EVERYTHING!! But I wanted to touch base with YOU.
      
      I can't even believe Walmart treated you badly when that whole thing happened. How dare they! I am so happy you went back and told the managers what had happened and how you were treated.. These people had NO right to make you real like a "ambulance chaser" and I am sure after they saw your shins they were very grateful you weren't. Unbelievable .. I hope your shins are better today too!
      
      OK.. got to go - Mom the GERM-BUSTER on the move
      
      I will catch up with you later sweet woman.
      XOXO!!!
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      - elvan @ Deb-EX on Dec 18, 2017 9:59 PM
        Deb-EX It's my heels and they look awful still but I don't think anything can be done. The original manager called today and apologized repeatedly. I am over it, I see my rheumatologist tomorrow so she will see these bruises but I really do not think there is anything that can be done, they need to heal. It would probably help if I could stay off them but that is NOT going to happen until after the Holidays.
        
        So sorry you had that horrid stomach virus, I swear that is the WORST. I have this issue with vomiting and I will fight it and fight it instead of just getting it over with...I also CANNOT vomit into a toilet, that guarantees that I will not be able to stop, it's terrible.
        
        Thanks for your sweet note...I understand that there are people out there who want to get whatever they can from Walmart but I made it very clear that night that I was reporting it because I thought they should know. I honestly think those damn carts are dangerous.
        
        I am SO PROUD of you and your quit!
        XOXO,
        Ellen
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        Deb-EX @ elvan on Dec 19, 2017 5:40 AM
        elvan Those electronic carts are great, BUT they CAN also be dangerous when the right person isn't driving it! I've been close to being hit in the heels myself a couple of times You're probably right though, while being painful, they most likely look worse than they are. ..standing so much doesn't help.. so SIT
        
        Yea, horrid stomach virus is right, we are all better thank god... It WAS the worst, but it's over and we should be good for many years to come! Ugghhhhhh Seeing my son down like that was the worst! But now he's back to talking a mile a minute and me thinking "be quiet already" hahaha
        
        Best of luck at the rheumatologist today~~~ Talk to you later!!
        
        XOXO
        Deb
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        elvan @ Deb-EX on Dec 19, 2017 8:41 PM
        Rheumatologist was horrified when she saw my heels and I told her the story...she said those carts do require practice and that maybe they just should not have them in big box stores. She said my back pain is exactly where it "should" be according to my MRI, she suggested either an epidural or an implanted pain pump. I am not ready for EITHER of those. I had an epidural that left me with no pain relief but a HUGE bruise next to my spine. My scoliosis is so bad that they can't get in between the vertebrae...I am not going to give up working or exercising until I absolutely HAVE to.
        
        You are a rock star, my friend. I always hated seeing my kids sick, so glad that it is over now. Stomach viruses are so debilitating, it's not like you can work through them, they knock you out.
        
        Big hugs,
        Ellen
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        Deb-EX @ elvan on Dec 19, 2017 9:24 PM
        Omg Ellen. This is all TO much my friend! I feel horrible for you...specifically your PAIN. I don’t know what I would choose as far as pain management but I’m pretty sure it would be the one that let me have the best quality of life! I don’t even understand how you’re doing what you are with all of this going on.. Geez the last person that needed to be hit in the heels with a stupid motorized cart is YOU. Whelp for now I guess you just need to get through the holidays and hopefully you will rest when your body says enough. You deserve to ENJOY Christmas.. I hope you will deliver the rest of your cookies and then perhaps a little break before the big day?? Why am I doubting this even as I type the question      After the holidays your mind will be freed up so you can make all the big decisions about what comes next with regards to your pain.
        
        You are in my thoughts, and I will say a prayer for you tonight when I go to bed. You’re a special person and I wish you above all things - HEALTH.
        
        Good night my friend
        Big big big..gentle hugs!
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        elvan @ Deb-EX on Dec 20, 2017 11:07 AM
        Deb-EX I still have to deliver the trays and now the pain is so bad that I am trying not to vomit. I don't dare to take any medication because I am so nauseated. I am just trying some dry toast and peppermint tea and then I will get the stuff together and see if I can do the deliveries. We pick up our youngest daughter in a town about 35 miles from here on Friday, she is coming by train, I work on Saturday, and we are supposed to go to a play with my step grandson on Sunday...Scrooge at a local theater. THEN it is Christmas and I am making lasagna...I don't know if we are having dinner at my son and daughter in law's cafe. The NEXT day, my husband has to see an ophthalmologist early in the morning, we will have to leave here by 7:00. I won't let him go alone because he should not be driving afterwards. THEN, I can collapse and I probably WILL...seriously, I will be half dead. I can only hope this pain will let up soon. The problem with medications is that THEY diminish the quality of your life. I NEED to be conscious even if that means pain.
        
        Thanks for the sweet note. I slept on and off.
        XOXO,
        Ellen
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MarilynH Dec 16, 2017 7:56 PM
A super duper Congratulations on your splendiferous 34 glorious Days WON with N.O.P.E because you are rocking your precious Quit......
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Daniela2016 Dec 16, 2017 8:32 PM
As proud of you Deb, as you were this morning!!! Congratulations, well done!
And lovely picture, I sometimes miss the gorgeous scenery you shared with us, but not the cold!
Isn't it awesome when you take those deep breaths and you feel so free?
Perfect reasons to put in your stockings to help you forward on the journey to freedom, you are doing great!
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susan_m Dec 18, 2017 5:16 AM
This is awesome, Deb! Way to reset that "stepping outside" moment as a non-smoking event. Slowly but surely, we reset all areas of our lives and mark them as smoke free. What a wonderful and strong quit you have!

Susan
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- Deb-EX @ susan_m on Dec 18, 2017 1:36 PM
  Thank YOU Susan!
  
  Funny you should say that about my having a strong quit, because I was just saying to my husband this morning about how worried I was that this seems to be so easy. I am using the 21mg patch as you might remember... So I worry that this is WHY it's been so easy and that on January 2nd when I take the patch down to 14mg I am going to struggle more than I know. I THINK I'm okay with the nicotine withdrawal for the week, as I was more worried about the phycological part of the quit.. than I was the physical part of the quit. Since this is my 1st QUIT in 35 years I guess I will find out
  
  With all the support I have here, at home and my strong desire NOT to take "One Puff Ever" I think I will be OK. I just don't want to get overconfident and let my guard down and find myself in a bad spot. I am really proud of my 36 days smoke free and watching the days stack up. I would HATE to have to start over... that thought makes me very determined, I didn't realize how much MY QUIT day meant, but it means everything to me~~
  
  Thank God for everyone here... XOXO
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  - susan_m @ Deb-EX on Dec 18, 2017 2:10 PM
    Deb,
    
    I was a cold-turkey quitter, so I can't help you with the whole NRT thing,. I can give you my opinion based on my own quit, and I will tell you why I think you will do better than you think..... For me, the physical withdrawal was easier than the mental and emotional withdrawal. The patch allows you to physically step down your dependence, but emotionally, you still break the habit cold turkey. To me, you've done the hard part. 72 hours, chick, and the nico-demon is out of your system... at that point, you will truly be free.
    
    Very proud of you!
    
    Susan
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    - Deb-EX @ susan_m on Dec 18, 2017 3:59 PM
      I agree Susan! Hats-Off to ALL Cold-Turkey Quitters..
      
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      - Mandolinrain @ Deb-EX on Dec 20, 2017 11:19 AM
        I was also a cold turkey quitter......I did the patch before and EVERYTHING, but none worked for me anyway. Personally I believe no matter HOW you quit it comes down to understanding the addiction....and implementing the tools we suggest on this site to keep the quit. Your doing great. Keep up with the reading material and blogging and read read read read...ohhhh did I say READ???
        XOXO Missy
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        Deb-EX @ Mandolinrain on Dec 20, 2017 11:56 AM
        I couldn't agree more! I'm working this with everything I have... Reading, breathing, reading, breathing.. With a bunch of cleaning, shopping and dinners in between..than reading, breathing, reading, sleeping and another successful day comes to an end
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        elvan @ Deb-EX on Dec 21, 2017 11:08 AM
        Deb-EX You are doing EVERYTHING right!
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        Deb-EX @ elvan on Dec 21, 2017 12:33 PM
        Thanks Ellen!! I feel SOOOO much better today and so grateful for all the support.... Phewwww
        How are you feeling today my friend??!!!
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        elvan @ Deb-EX on Dec 21, 2017 12:40 PM
        Deb-EX I have a lot to do today, my daughter arrives tomorrow and I need to get vacuuming and mopping done...BUT, I actually AM feeling better today. My sciatica is still there but as long as I am not moving too much or too fast, I can STAND it. I am changing sheets today and that is always rough but I will put a brace on and a TENS unit and hopefully I will get done QUICKLY. At least those stupid baked goods are out of here...I just have to do some baking for family but that's MUCH easier. I don't have to bake anywhere NEAR as much.
        
        I am SO GLAD that you are feeling better today...that's really how it goes...good days and bad days (we had them when we smoked too).
        XOXO,
        Ellen
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        Deb-EX @ elvan on Dec 21, 2017 12:51 PM
        It's almost over Ellen!! It's sad to say but I can WAIT for this time NEXT WEEK. I'm exhausted too and when you're trying to baby your quit it's a rough time... BUT I will do it.
        Try and take it easy if at all possible. Cut corners where you can, ask for help from your daughter .. You being able to enjoy the holidays is way more important to her than clean sheets on the bed. Leave the sheets on the bed and ask her to put them on! Save yourself a step or two. I'm glad the baked good are done and those smiles I'm more than sure have given you some much needed energy.
        Don't overdue it today!!
        XoXo
        Debbie
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        elvan @ Deb-EX on Dec 21, 2017 4:41 PM
        Deb-EX I am making progress...without any assistance from my husband who is feeling depressed. I will get things done and under the tree and I will vacuum the places that need vacuuming. One way or another, by the time I go to bed tonight, I will feel as though everything that has to be done IS done. We pick my daughter up tomorrow afternoon so I can sleep in and not feel overwhelmed tomorrow. I work on Saturday but I think they might close early if it's as dead as expected. Who knows?
        
        I know exactly how you feel...my first Holiday Season was close to a year after my quit but it was a month after the fire and I was having a really hard time feeling anything but sadness...and THEN...just as I sat down to Skype with the daughter who is arriving tomorrow and who was teaching in South Korea, due home after the New Year...there was a knock at the door and I got up and opened it to see her standing there wearing a red scarf and smiling and she said, "Merry Christmas, Mom." I almost fainted, seriously, it was the most amazing feeling after the worst time ever. I will never forget that. I HAD gotten a little tree and decorated it with donated ornaments but I had not baked...I put a few presents under the tree just so it would not look abandoned. I hope that made you smile...I am sitting here with tears coming down my well watered face just remembering it.
        
        Hugs and more hugs,
        Ellen
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        Deb-EX @ elvan on Dec 21, 2017 5:46 PM
        Of course I'm smiling Ellen, how could I NOT... It's a sad, but beautiful story! So why is your husband feeling depressed ? You are have all these great things going on? I am glad you are doing things to not overwhelmed yourself... doing to much is never a good thing. I guess us women just take on the world, I was at the hair dressers this morning and the girls there all want Christmas over too!! It's so sad that we can't just enjoy.. Christmas can become so overwhelming!
        
        Tomorrow is my cooking day for family that comes over on Christmas Eve.. I cook with my husbands cousin and we get everything ready in advance. Then we can ENJOY! Plus she loves to take over my kitchen, which is more then FINE by ME! LOL..
        
        I am hoping you get off early on Saturday - You should have taken off you know!! :-)
        
        Hugs!! xoxo
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        Mandolinrain @ elvan on Dec 21, 2017 5:56 PM
        I don’t think you realize the blessing you are too so many of us here at Ex.
        
        Actually, the ppl here are Ex, well...I just love them all. So proud of this extended family. So blessed and grateful to be a part of it.
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        Deb-EX @ Mandolinrain on Dec 21, 2017 6:16 PM
        elvan IS truly a blessing to ME and I know to many others here at Ex. I don't know how I would have survived without her
        I too am SO grateful for everyone here at Ex, you're right it's an extended family I never saw coming! I thank God every day for leading me to this support group. It's the only thing that's kept me QUIT for 39 days, I could have NEVER did this on my own...
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        Mandolinrain @ Deb-EX on Dec 21, 2017 7:09 PM
        Your loved by me XOXO and Im very proud of you!
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        Deb-EX @ Mandolinrain on Dec 21, 2017 7:17 PM
        And YOUR loved by ME!! XOXO... Thank YOU so much Missy!!
        
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        Daniela2016 @ elvan on Dec 21, 2017 10:29 PM
        elvan Ellen, I am sorry you went through so much heartbreak, but I am so happy your kids recognize what a wonderful mom they have and they pay you back with their presence, their love.
        Hugs and much love,
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        elvan @ Daniela2016 on Dec 21, 2017 11:51 PM
        Deb-EX and Daniela2016 and Mandolinrain Thank you for all of the beautiful comments...I love everyone here and I want so much to help them get through the hard times at the beginning. My husband is depressed because he is overwhelmed with Christmas and his usual lack of planning and his feeling that he has nothing to give to anyone. He is pretty much broke and told me that he feels terrible because he has nothing to give me. It's an ongoing scenario...it has been the same for most of our 43 years of marriage. I used to give him money to buy something, then I bought something for myself and asked him to wrap it and give it to me on Christmas morning. I did get a pair of gloves that I very much wanted that were 50% off and I gave them to him to wrap and put under the tree, I don't think he knows where he put them. I understand that he feels depressed but I feel overwhelmed and I cannot carry all of the expenses forever. It's too bad that this happens over and over again. I feel badly for him, I am sure that he has early onset dementia and he cannot remember ANYTHING...he always PLANS to do things but then he forgets. I think I would rather have just about anything other than dementia and KNOW that I cannot function. It's a very difficult thing for him and for all of the family.
        
        I love you all and I am so very grateful that you are in my life.
        Ellen
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        susan_m @ elvan on Dec 22, 2017 4:44 AM
        Ellen, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. What a great story about your daughter..
        
        Enjoy having her home, and I hope you got everything done like you wanted. Missy is right, you really are a blessing.
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        elvan @ susan_m on Dec 22, 2017 9:52 AM
        Thank you susan_m , really that is very kind of you. No, everything is not done...yet but everything that is going to get done will be done very soon. I need to make a run to the store, get some fruits and vegetables and I will be ready to go pick her up. She sent me a text at 6:45AM and I grabbed the phone to see WHO would be texting me that early, it couldn't be good news, could it? She wanted me to know that she was on board the train. It arrives at its destination which is about 35 miles north of here at 3:00...I always ask her if she sleeps on the train but she says no, there are constant stops between NYC and here. I looked at my response and it is clear that I was not awake and not wearing glasses...I wrote, "WOW, thankas" Hahahahaha. I am sure she was shaking her head and smiling. She has a smile that could light up a city, I can't wait to see her.
        
        Thank you again, I feel the same way about all of you...that you are blessings in my life.
        Ellen
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Mandolinrain Dec 20, 2017 11:16 AM
Deb-EX Have I mentioned how extremely PROUD I am of you and your quit? You look good as a couple
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- Deb-EX @ Mandolinrain on Dec 20, 2017 11:52 AM
  LOL!! Thanks Missy.. Xoxo
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