Smoke Free Snow Day

[Deb-EX]

That moment your mind glitches back to a memory of " Let me grab a cigarette and go outside" It happens so fast and it feels so real that when you say to yourself "I don't do that anymore" I have to be honest it can feel like a let down.

Good news is I got over it! I stood outside in the beautiful snowy scenery and breathed in the beautiful clean air.

Deep breaths in through my nose and slowly out of my mouth, over and over... No coughing!!

Ya know what I have NEVER felt prouder of myself than I did in that moment! 

34 days SMOKE FREE!! I never thought I would ever get this far!    

[Deb-EX]

It's almost over Ellen!! It's sad to say but I can WAIT for this time NEXT WEEK. I'm exhausted too and when you're trying to baby your quit it's a rough time... BUT I will do it.

Try and take it easy if at all possible. Cut corners where you can, ask for help from your daughter .. You being able to enjoy the holidays is way more important to her than clean sheets on the bed. Leave the sheets on the bed and ask her to put them on! Save yourself a step or two. I'm glad the baked good are done and those smiles I'm more than sure have given you some much needed energy. 

Don't overdue it today!! 

XoXo

Debbie

[elvan]

Deb-EX‌ I am making progress...without any assistance from my husband who is feeling depressed.  I will get things done and under the tree and I will vacuum the places that need vacuuming.  One way or another, by the time I go to bed tonight, I will feel as though everything that has to be done IS done.  We pick my daughter up tomorrow afternoon so I can sleep in and not feel overwhelmed tomorrow.  I work on Saturday but I think they might close early if it's as dead as expected.  Who knows?

I know exactly how you feel...my first Holiday Season was close to a year after my quit but it was a month after the fire and I was having a really hard time feeling anything but sadness...and THEN...just as I sat down to Skype with the daughter who is arriving tomorrow and who was teaching in South Korea, due home after the New Year...there was a knock at the door and I got up and opened it to see her standing there wearing a red scarf and smiling and she said, "Merry Christmas, Mom."  I almost fainted, seriously, it was the most amazing feeling after the worst time ever.  I will never forget that.  I HAD gotten a little tree and decorated it with donated ornaments but I had not baked...I put a few presents under the tree just so it would not look abandoned.  I hope that made you smile...I am sitting here with tears coming down my well watered face just remembering it.

Hugs and more hugs,

Ellen

[Deb-EX]

Of course I'm smiling Ellen, how could I NOT... It's a sad, but beautiful story! So why is your husband feeling depressed ? You are have all these great things going on? I am glad you are doing things to not overwhelmed yourself... doing to much is never a good thing. I guess us women just take on the world, I was at the hair dressers this morning and the girls there all want Christmas over too!! It's so sad that we can't just enjoy.. Christmas can become so overwhelming! 

Tomorrow is my cooking day for family that comes over on Christmas Eve.. I cook with my husbands cousin and we get everything ready in advance. Then we can ENJOY! Plus she loves to take over my kitchen, which is more then FINE by ME! LOL.. 

I am hoping you get off early on Saturday - You should have taken off you know!! 🙂

Hugs!! xoxo

[Mandolinrain]

I don’t think you realize the blessing you are too so many of us here at Ex. 

Actually, the ppl here are Ex, well...I just love them all. So proud of this extended family. So blessed and grateful to be a part of it. 

[Deb-EX]

elvan‌ IS truly a blessing to ME and I know to many others here at Ex. I don't know how I would have survived without her  

  I too am SO grateful for everyone here at Ex, you're right it's an extended family I never saw coming! I thank God every day for leading me to this support group. It's the only thing that's kept me QUIT for 39 days, I could have NEVER did this on my own... 

[Mandolinrain]

Your loved by me XOXO and Im very proud of you!

[Deb-EX]

And YOUR loved by ME!! XOXO... Thank YOU so much Missy!! 

 

[Daniela2016]

elvan‌ Ellen, I am sorry you went through so much heartbreak, but I am so happy your kids recognize what a wonderful mom they have and they pay you back with their presence, their love.

Hugs and much love,

[elvan]

Deb-EX‌ and Daniela2016‌ and Mandolinrain    Thank you for all of the beautiful comments...I love everyone here and I want so much to help them get through the hard times at the beginning.  My husband is depressed because he is overwhelmed with Christmas and his usual lack of planning and his feeling that he has nothing to give to anyone.  He is pretty much broke and told me that he feels terrible because he has nothing to give me.  It's an ongoing scenario...it has been the same for most of our 43 years of marriage.  I used to give him money to buy something, then I bought something for myself and asked him to wrap it and give it to me on Christmas morning.  I did get a pair of gloves that I very much wanted that were 50% off and I gave them to him to wrap and put under the tree, I don't think he knows where he put them.  I understand that he feels depressed but I feel overwhelmed and I cannot carry all of the expenses forever.  It's too bad that this happens over and over again.  I feel badly for him, I am sure that he has early onset dementia and he cannot remember ANYTHING...he always PLANS to do things but then he forgets.  I think I would rather have just about anything other than dementia and KNOW that I cannot function.  It's a very difficult thing for him and for all of the family.

I love you all and I am so very grateful that you are in my life.

Ellen

[susan_m]

Ellen,  the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. What a great story about your daughter..

Enjoy having her home, and I hope you got everything done like you wanted. Missy is right, you really are a blessing.