Take 20...

[NicMensinga]

Hi everyone.. Just wanted to share my smoking story. I started 25 odd years ago at the age of 16. Both my parents smoked. In the house, car etc so it was just part of life I thought. I first wanted to quit when I was about 28. It was hard when I was in my 20's as I drank alcohol/partied quite regularly and it just came with the territory. I think my first stint of quitting was at the age of about 32. That lasted for 2 or so years.. Every time I had major stress or trauma, I would start again. Or too many drinks & I would suddenly be having 'just one'. Soon I was back on the smokes daily. 

I have lost count of how many times I have tried to quit. Cold turkey, patches, hypnosis...

I recently lost the love of my life in a tragic motorbike accident. He was only 39.. It was also I crime as a driver had run him down. Before the accident I was only smoking here and there with a drink as my partner was good at the social smoking thing. He would just hide them when we had finished a few drinks. After he passed, I started up again daily. It's been 8 months now & I have had a week or two here and there where I have worn a nicotine patch and not smoked. I desperately want to stop as it's only making me feel more anxious and depressed. I am constantly told by friends, therapists etc to keep smoking but I am so over it controlling me yet again.

So I had my last smoke this morning and have put a patch on again. Feeling much better already and have had more energy today!!

Has anyone here quit whilst going through major trauma? I figure there's always going to be stress in our lives and if I can do it now, I can do it anytime. 

Thanks for listening

[NicMensinga]

Thank you Ellen. Well done for quitting.. at least you are off them now & your health will still be better for it! Take care

[NicMensinga]

PS - yes, feeling the deep sadness of my loss has been the hardest thing. My heart literally aches.. The worst pain I have ever felt. Better to let it out than suppress it though..

[elvan]

It IS better to let your feelings out than to stuff them down, it is NORMAL to feel, it is NOT NORMAL to smoke.  I do not agree with any therapist who advises not quitting.  I am not saying it is easy, that has certainly not been my experience but I CAN tell you that I have NEVER regretted quitting, not even for a second.

You are growing and growth can be painful.

Ellen

[SunshineRobin]

So sorry for your loss! Great job quitting & keep up the good job!  You are an inspiration to me! My quit date is May 13th (1 wk. from now).  If you can do it with your loss then I should be able too. I have 20 more yrs smoking then you! 

Happy times to come! Never had a website be my help b4 so maybe this time I can do it!

[NicMensinga]

Thank you!! Yes we can both do this  There will be ups and downs in life but there are better ways of coping rather than punishing ourselves. Good luck to you!!

[Christine13]

I'm so very sorry for your tragic loss.  My husband passed away Jan. 1st 2018.  I am learning to live without him.

My therapist wants me to keep smoking too.  I don't want to smoke, but it's been difficult to stay quit.

I am doing the best that I can under my circumstances.  I know the pain you are going through.

xo

[NicMensinga]

I'm so sorry for your loss too... It's so awful isn't it? You can do this.. Your hubby would want you to be happy & healthy. Think of how you want to feel & make small steps to get there. You've got this

[jbliesmer]

Congrats on taking this step. It's not going to be easy but the reward is so worth it. Welcome

~jaime

[NicMensinga]

Thanks Jaime

[jonimarie]

You have come to the right place at BecomeAnEX. The information, people and all the blogs here have helped me to commit to quit. Like so many of us we have tried and tried and beat ourselves up over the failure to quit.The support here and suggested reading from the elders will help you stay committed to the quit. Sorry for your loss