Hello everyone, this is more difficult than I expected. I started smoking 25 yrs ago and stopped many times and restarted many times. Each time I stopped I barely went through withdrawals and within a month smoking didn't cross my mind. Each time I restarted happened to be at some social gathering after bout a a year or two of not smoking. However, this time I decided I wanted to stop smoking an make it a life long change.
Why did I decide to quit, because
1. I was accousted and yelled at twice while smoking in a designated smoking area -- the first time I told the non-smoker he should not be in the smoking area -- why come to the smoking area to yell at me --- I still don't understand. The second time it happened, I just froze -- utterly stunned however, my husband was with me and he yelled, a stranger saw what was happening and quickly ran to get nearby security officer. -- once again I still don't understand why people are on the verge of phsyically assulting me because of smoking.
Anyhow, On July 25th I went to the dentist my anual dental appoint and found out I need quite a bit of work done. The dentists basically said it is pointless to do the work since I am a smoker ---- to sum it up. This angered me, I need the dental work, smoking did not cause the problem -- he already established this fact. So why is it pointless to do the work why are you speaking to me this way! So I angrily said -- I will just quit -- I will just do what I have to do! In order to move forward with the treatment plan.
As of now, I am down from 1 1/2 packs per day to between 1 - 5 a day.
I am having extreme difficulty with the morning cigarette and smoking as result of something stressfull. Therefore, I joined this group in hopes of success on this journey.
The symptoms I am experiencing: I am darn near irrate at times. I don't like how the behavorial change is effecting my 10 year old. He is my biggest fan -- yet he has to see mommy loosing her mind over simple stuff... I don't know what to do. I need to quit smoking and rid myself of this emotional/psychological crutch. (curse)
For the first time in my life -- I don't like the person it has turned me into -- crying for no reason, yelling at the slightest things, always on edge. This did not happen the previous times I quit -- this was not something I expected. The previous quit times went flawlessly.
I have never set a goal for myself and failed to achieve it --- I don't want this to be the first goal I do not achieve. I am scared this time --- I am worried -- I actually need help achieving this goal. For the first time, I can not do this alone.
