My husband is still smoking

[mphillipsatwork]

I need some advice as to what to do with myself when my husband is going in the other room to smoke. Today is my second day of quitting and this is really tough

[agthornton007]

Hi there I am one year smoke free and did my quit with my wife who still smokes. I discussed it with her that I am going to quit and she was supportive but also said don't I dare tell her to stop but she has cut down dramatically. You have to remember that you are doing this for you, sometimes you need to be selfish in life and look after you the #1. Perhaps request that he doesn't smoke at all in the house as it is making your quit more intense and difficult. Don't give up you can do this! You are going to encounter other smokers out there so take this as a tool to use when you do. Best of luck be strong don't let those cigarettes beat you. 

[mphillipsatwork]

Thank you so much. It is actually getting tougher, not easier for my day 3.      

[YoungAtHeart]

I would ask for hubby's support and that he smoke outside - away from your sight. I would also ask him to keep his cigarettes, lighter and ashtray out of sight.    Smoking indoors is very unhealthy for you both - since you both are exposed to the second hand smoke (proven to be almost as harmful as the first go-round).

Perhaps you are jealous that he "gets" to smoke?  Well, actually, he doesn't GET to smoke; he HAS to smoke!   Turn it around and try to feel sorry that he is still an addict.  Be PROUD that you are working not to be.

Congratulations on Day Won!

Nancy

[mphillipsatwork]

Wow!!  I like the way you think!  That really motivated me to change my thinking!  Thank you so much!

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Well as others  have already stated, I will put it bluntly.  It is not about him it is about you.  You have to realize that this is your quit.  If it bothers you you need to address that with him on how he can help you.  He may miss his smoking buddy and do things to draw you back to day 1.  It is not easy so Hang tough, it is doable.  Your example may be his way to freedom. There are quite a few here that live with smokers.  If you type in the search field living with smoker you will see lots of blogs concerning that topic.  Here is a link to one https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2017/06/21/quitting-when-you-live-wi...  Read study blog.  Education is the key to a successful quit. https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/17060-for-our-new-years-quitters-and-community-members-too  Stay close.  The best is yet to come if you hang tough.  No matter what do not smoke. 

[elvan]

I agree with everyone above.  I would absolutely ask him if he would smoke outside.  I never smoked in my house so I think that made it easier for me when I quit...BUT, my husband quit in 1989 and I kept right on smoking until 2014.  He never picked up another cigarette. If the smell bothers you, you might try putting a little dab of Vicks under your nose to disguise the smell.  It isn't going to do anything about you feelings...please be honest with him and ask him to support you in your quit.  There is a chance that your example may lead him to want to quit.  Right now, he HAS to smoke, you don't.  I see that Jackie has already given you the link to YoungAtHeart‌'s blog for New Year's Quitters, it is a wonderful blog with a LOT of comments from others.  I would also suggest reading JonesCarpeDiem‌'s blog /blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/06/26/what-to-expect-in-the-first-four-months and go back to YoungAtHeart‌'s

/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke   Read everything you can about this addiction...it IS an addiction and then commit to your quit, everyone is right, it is YOUR quit, you own it, you nurture it, you put it before anything else and it WILL grow stronger and stronger and so will you.  Please stay close to the site and reach out to those who may say something that helps you.  We all want very much to help, we all started at a day one...

Best,

Ellen

[mphillipsatwork]

I am going to try those links right now. Thank you!

[elvan]

Keep in mind that the nicotine is leaving your system and it does not WANT to do that so it is giving you a hard time right now.  The psychological addiction is much stronger than the physical addiction...it really is one day at a time and now you have THREE days!  That is awesome.

Congratulations.

Ellen

[maryfreecig]

Good for you for day two. Stay focused on your goal to quit, get busy on something else when your husband smokes. Yes you can, one day at a time.