Introducing myself

[_m_8]

Hi, everyone. I'm a 36-year-old man who has smoked since the age of 13. I'm the happily married father of a two-year-old boy and I want to stop smoking before he begins to ask what I'm doing. I do not smoke in the house and I don't smoke when he's in the car with me, but that's not enough. I don't want to smoke at all.

I've hated smoking for so long I can't remember when (or if) I ever actually enjoyed it, but I continue to smoke day after day. I'm disgusted with this habit, with myself, and with the idea of smoking in general. In the past three years, I have tried to quit numerous times. My most successful attempt lasted for three months, and my most recent began yesterday morning and ended miserably today.

I know it sounds cliche, but I've tried everything, from pills to patches to gum (nicotine and regular) to willpower, and nothing has worked. So far, the most promising method has been Allen Carr's "Easyway", but although I agree with almost every word of his book, I feel there's something that I'm just not getting, because I'm still smoking and I'm still miserable when I try to quit.

I found this site through a search engine and I know nothing about it or what methods they recommend. Right now I'm skeptical of any method and I'm nearly convinced that I will smoke until I die.

I don't know what will make me quit, but I know what won't. Fear of the consequences does not work. If it did we would never start. Inspirational one-liners and motivational speeches might work for many people, but they sound like forced and empty drivel to me. Replacement therapy only reinforces the belief that I'm depriving myself of something. Just "sucking it up" and dealing with it makes me miserable and angry, and being miserable and angry makes me want to smoke, not to mention making me impossible to deal with.

When I do try to quit, I always start out with the right mindset and the right attitude. I'm almost giddy with excitement when I throw out my cigarettes. Usually within half a day (sometimes sooner), I feel terrible and I go buy cigarettes.

Anyway, this is where I am tonight. I'm depressed over yet another failed attempt and I'm miserable, both physically and mentally. I'm afraid to quit and I'm afraid to continue. I hope I can find help and encouragement here from real smokers and real ex-smokers. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[deana5]

Yes sir,  I feel your pain.  I had quit recently for about 3weeks and ran out of the nicotine lozenges, couldn't get to the store and relapsed miserably.  My husband smokes so it was easy to just sneak a couple from his pack and I'm back at it.  I recently bought some nicotine gum and it does help but now I just have to psychologically prepare to quit again.  It's hard for me to even think normally when I quit smoking.  We just found out my hubby's cousin has emphysema--she's only 46 and the dr. told her she had the lungs of a 75yr. old!  That scares me because I'm 45.  Other than that I'm in fairly good shape and if I exercise regularly it really does help.  Have you ever tried jogging?  It seems to settle my brain down and I don't feel as stressed afterwards; plus I can experience the benefits of being a nonsmoker in a very real tangible way, not to mention how it keeps the weight gain at a minimum.  I love working out, eating right, just being a healthy fit person--for me to smoke is just such a contradiction to who I really am.  Soooo,  I'm going to try try again because I have kids and I want to watch them grow up and I want to grow old gracefully.  Hang in there.  Have you tried Chantex?  I know a few who've quit using it but I heard it can cause severe mood swings and I'm moody enough as it is.  Good luck and don't give up.

[_m_8]

Thanks for the response! I just found this site, and I'm excited to hear from others who are in or have been in my situation. My wife is very supportive, but as a non-smoker, she can't possibly understand what I'm going through. It causes a lot of frustration for her knowing that she doesn't know what to say to make me stop, and every time I fail, I can see her heart breaking just a little bit more. My family are all smokers but none of them seem interested in quitting, so they're not much support either. I think you're on to something with the exercise idea. That helps to paint a new self-image, into which smoking simply doesn't fit. How stupid would any of us feel jogging with a cigarette hanging from our mouths? I haven't figured out my exact plan yet, but exercise and healthier eating is going to be a large part of it.

I did use Chantix, several times, and while it's true that it helps, the side effects went way beyond mood swings. I became severely depressed very quickly, and I have no history of any sort of mental or emotional instabilities. The last time I tried Chantix was about a month ago, and at this point I'd rather die of lung cancer than live like that. I know that's not something I should ever say on a quit smoking site, and I'm not trying to downplay the severity of cancer, but I firmly believe that if I'd kept taking Chantix, I'd have turned suicidal.

[myyrr]

I am new here and have smoked for 20 years, I am currently 34 and lost my father 6 years ago to lung cancer.  Nothing motivated my family or I to quit.    I have attempted several times, picked dates that line up, taking meds, e-cigs, patches, etc.  I know the hopeless feeling you have and many times thought the same exact way.  However....I want to beat this...I am not a person who likes to be addicted or tied to anything that is not going to end well.

My doctor put my on Chantix only after I signed a waiver because of the rate of people who suffer extreme side effects.  I started taking it last Monday and I feel great. I take half of what they expect me to and have to check in with the Dr. once a week for the next 2 months.  My quit date was Friday (5th), I quit Wednesday night.  I am staying positive, Arming myself with tons of vitamin C candies, reading tons about this addiction, I stayed at home all weekend like a lump on the couch, and eat celery and carrots......ALOT.   I feel good this quit and all I can think about is being able to call myself a EX-NON-Smoker....

Below is the advice that my husband gave me, he quit while I smoked in the house, car, and near him 7 years ago.

1. The cravings, they never go away.  They just get less intense and soon you feel like you are craving a cola and can brush it off.  But know that you are going to want one, and you can never give in.  Just continue to ignore the cravings. 

2. Put off the first smoke as long as you can in the morning.  This helps to make you not smoke as much before your quit date.  It also shows you how long you can go a good self test for starting out.

3. When you want to smoke, exercise, breathe deep, think of the people that love you and want you to be here.

4. At work still get up and walk around just like you did when you took a smoke break.

5. Learn about the addiction to nicotine.   Understand what chemically happens in your body when you smoke, or sneak just 1.   I was amazed to learn that in all other times I tried to quit thinking just 1 would make it better.  It resets your brain to think you are going to continue to smoke and draws out the withdraw symptoms.  Think about that it takes 72 hours for nicotine to leave your system.   The withdrawls start getting better after it is all out of your body. 

6. Take tons of Vitamin C.  This helps flush nicotine out.

7. Stay positive.  All people use the terms "it is s hard"  reverse that into you can do this.  It is easy.

I am trying to take his advice.  I hope I make it the rest of my life....I know being positive goes a long way. 

Good Luck