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Give and get support around quitting

TW517
Member

I'm a whiner, but...

I’m a whiner.  When a cold or flu goes thru our household, I am the biggest complainer, even if my symptoms were less and lasted for a shorter period than my wife and kids.  If the boss makes everyone stay late to complete a project, my inconvenience far outweighs everyone else’s.  I know this about myself, and I’ve been working on improving this bad trait for years. 

 

When I was 30, 40, 50, even 60 days into my quit, I was struggling and complaining about it even though it seemed like most of the people who quit around the same time as me were feeling great.  I attributed this to my typical whiney nature.  But after reading Doug’s blog /blogs/dwwms-blog/2017/11/28/250-days-and-yet  and Dale’s response,

Doug, I've never pinpointed the connection from when people quit using nicotine long term as to how it relates to no mans land. There's just no way I can get any data. That being said....perhaps it has a relation to how your feeling if you've only been off nicotine for 45 days.That being said, give it some more time. It'll pass.

 

As a Cold Turkey quitter, now I’m wondering if maybe my struggles were a bit more real than just perceived.  Obviously, someone on a 21mg patch who is also taking 4mg of gum or lozenges occasionally to get thru those “rough patches”, is not feeling anything like a cold turkey quitter at that same point in time.  So now I’m wondering how many of those who seemed to be doing so much better than me, were on NRTs and what dosage.

 

It seems the most common question for Newbies is, “Is what I’m feeling now normal?”  But if a Cold Turkey quitter is comparing themselves to an NRT quitter who posts a similar “DOF” tagline, they are doing themselves a disservice.  I kind of wish there were 2 Quit Dates in the “My Quit Plan” section of our website.  One for the day you quit smoking cigarettes (well worth celebrating regardless if you are still using NRTs) and another for the day you quit using any kind of nicotine.  Thoughts?  Other than, "Oh Tom, quit your whining!"

74 Replies

you know when it finally got easier for me?  It was when I finally accepted that I'll always have cravings or what I perceive to be cravings.  As time moved on, I learned that they are only perceived that way.  They are simply memories being sparked by something I did.  Trust me when I say this, I smoked from the time I got up to the time I went to bed.  I smoked 2 packs a day, sometimes 3 depending on what I was doing that day.  When it finally got easier was when I said to myself one day, you either release this stranglehold on that cigarette or you just accept that yes, this will pop up over time.  Now, I just smile to myself and shake my head or simply say out loud boy, I'm glad I don't do that anymore.  It was a big part of my life since I was 12 years old.  I didn't quit until I was in my 50's.  It's something I did over and over every single day.  It's going to take quite a few years to unlearn that, but you know what, I accept that.  I'm good with that.  Change that thinking around, rewind and recharge.  Thoughts are a learning tool.  Actions are a conscious effort, a decision we willingly made.  I know that you will always make the right choice.

maryfreecig
Member

      I wouldn't feel comfortable deciding the quality or completeness of another's smobriety. I know what I went through and it was enough of a brain shattering experience so that I hope and intend to never return to nicotine world. Cold turkey is the cheapest, readily available method--but freaky--at least in my case.  The support and fellowship at Ex has added much to my smobriety. That includes your part here, too. Thanks for that. 

     Seems to me that our culture tries to sell the great, grand, final, heroic, totally awesome win. That's fiction.

     Two pennies only.

Deb-EX
Member

"Oh, Tom, quit your whining!"  :-))) - Haha..JK I don't even know you!

I am 17 days into my quit and no expert here 🙂  I quit using the Nicoderm 21mg Patch. As said, there are 2 parts to this addiction- the nicotine and the psychological. After 35 years of smoking.. I was open to using anything available to me that could take the edge off of the whole quitting process in general. This was HUGE!!!  I wanted to focus on the psychological part first. I had nothing to prove to anybody, only myself... I needed to prove to myself that I was strong enough to not light up a cigarette.  

 

In My Humble Opinion:

There is only 1 quit date and that is the day a person stops smoking cigarettes, period. I can assure you that I have gone through more than my fair share of bad, dark moments and days- even using the patch. Technically, the nicotine is out of a persons body in the first 3-4 days, a week right? I would agree that yes someone quitting cold turkey would most definitely have it harder during those days of withdrawals, than someone using an NRT. However, after that - I believe you're in the same boat as every other "none smoker"... I could be wrong too..Since every one seems to go through the same experiences with or without nicotine, I can not think of one disservice you would be doing by helping a person understand that what they are feeling is normal and that each person is unique. If it makes you feel better you can tell your a CT quitter so it might be different ...

During a quit, If someone uses an NRT during the rough times, that isn't about the nicotine addiction, it's psychological, no? I mean the nicotine isn't the problem, it's the brain telling you that's the problem... again psychological no?  Even on the patch, there have been days for me that I was literally holding on by a thread to not give up and smoke... all psychological cravings. 

I guess my opinion is this... as long as I do not pick up a cigarette - I'm good. Even in the future when I complete my patch steps and go through my nicotine withdrawal, I know there is a long haul ahead. but but but, I feel that working on the psychological issues during my time on the NRT will better prepare me for a successful quit.

If it's ever a choice between throwing on a patch, chewing on a nicotine gum or smoking a cigarette -I will use the NRT every time. After all, I'm not afraid of the nicotine, it's a drug yes, but it will not cause health issues associated with smoking cigarettes. I'm afraid of the 4000 plus chemicals in the cigarette - they indeed will kill you and why I will never go back! 

Great blog.. Kept me busy during the tough time of my day! SO you helped me without knowing and it didn't matter that you are a CT quitter and I use NRT! No disservice 🙂 

Best Regards,

Debbie

TW517
Member

Ha!  Actually, I have nothing against NRTs.  If I had to do it all over again, I would definitely use the patch.  I know better now that I need to stay away from the gum and lozenges.  I got too addicted to them before.  But I did use NRTs before and know what that experience is like.  You are correct, it is certainly no bed of roses.  But for me anyway, my NRT quits were quite a bit easier than this cold turkey quit was.  And I think I beat myself up too much early in this quit because it wasn't going as easy as my previous quits, or as easy as I believed my peers were.

But you and everyone else make an excellent point.  The most important thing is we don't smoke anymore!!!  And the best part for me is, as much complaining/whining/venting as I was doing before, those days appear to be behind me now.  I started noticing that my craves/thoughts were slowly getting farther apart somewhere around the 50 day mark, but they were still somewhat regular until about day 150.  Then it was like a switch just turned off.  I haven't had a serious crave in 6 weeks or more.  A few passing thoughts that I have flicked away effortlessly like a piece of lint on my shirt.  I've no doubt there will be future dramas or occasions that will cause me to get my quit tool kit out again, but for right now, I'm loving this freedom!

Deb-EX
Member

LOL! My husband quit using the lozenges and oh man... I remember him sucking on those things for YEARS! I had no idea at the time, but YES he was addicted. As I read through all the blogs and comments about people who just go "Cold Turkey" I think oh WOW - how??? Kudos to anyone that goes Cold Turkey- I could never do it - Yikes! 

What I am learning in this support group is that whatever way we chose, it's all about quitting the cigarette in the end. I have no illusions that after smoking for 35 years that I was going to get off Scott-free and just be better in a week. I've actually found the more days that go bye, the HARDER it gets. I also understand that after a long while, it will get better, I look at where I'm at as kinda like "purgatory" ... Everyday is a challenge.. Actually today I was running errands, driving all around and thought it would be so nice to have a cigarette right now. My next thought went to this group and some of the wisdom sent my way. It was a great feeling and it really did get me through the. moment. I can't WAIT to get to the point you're at "loving the freedom" of a crave free day. I'll take a crave free afternoon at this point LOL. 

Thanks for posting your blog, it was fun :-)))) Have a great night and congratulations on your successful QUIT!!!

YoungAtHeart
Member

One day at a time - and you WILL get to this wonderful freedom - and I think you will agree that the effort is well worth it.

Just hang in there!

 Nancy

Deb-EX
Member

Thank you Nancy☺️☺️ Yes.it WILL be worth it! The every day struggle is worth the on the calendar before going up to bed every night and my boy telling me how good I smell         ❤️❤️ LOL

Have a great night    

I been at the dentist so I missed this blog.

I think we all may have different reactions in the way we are affected.

Think of the way you normally smoked.

example:

I think back and the majority of the time I would take 5 big drags off a 100 in a very short time, maybe 2 minutes and I had my fix.

I wanted as much as I could get in two minutes not to sit and enjoy it..

There were times I sat and enjoyed smoking but those were rare.

many loved to sit and smoke and drink coffee all day.

elvan
Member

Oh my, I am so glad I don't have to take care of you when you are sicker than everyone else, LOL.  I think being free from cigarettes is what it's all about, I do know that I have seen some people say they have a number of days free from smoking and a different number of days free from nicotine.  I guess I think this is a journey and no matter how you get your days of freedom...you are still free.  I think you are doing great, whining and all, you made me laugh out loud and I am so tired that anyone who can do that is a PRINCE in my mind!