I'm a whiner, but...

[TW517]

I’m a whiner.  When a cold or flu goes thru our household, I am the biggest complainer, even if my symptoms were less and lasted for a shorter period than my wife and kids.  If the boss makes everyone stay late to complete a project, my inconvenience far outweighs everyone else’s.  I know this about myself, and I’ve been working on improving this bad trait for years. 

When I was 30, 40, 50, even 60 days into my quit, I was struggling and complaining about it even though it seemed like most of the people who quit around the same time as me were feeling great.  I attributed this to my typical whiney nature.  But after reading Doug’s blog /blogs/dwwms-blog/2017/11/28/250-days-and-yet  and Dale’s response,

Doug, I've never pinpointed the connection from when people quit using nicotine long term as to how it relates to no mans land. There's just no way I can get any data. That being said....perhaps it has a relation to how your feeling if you've only been off nicotine for 45 days.That being said, give it some more time. It'll pass.

As a Cold Turkey quitter, now I’m wondering if maybe my struggles were a bit more real than just perceived.  Obviously, someone on a 21mg patch who is also taking 4mg of gum or lozenges occasionally to get thru those “rough patches”, is not feeling anything like a cold turkey quitter at that same point in time.  So now I’m wondering how many of those who seemed to be doing so much better than me, were on NRTs and what dosage.

It seems the most common question for Newbies is, “Is what I’m feeling now normal?”  But if a Cold Turkey quitter is comparing themselves to an NRT quitter who posts a similar “DOF” tagline, they are doing themselves a disservice.  I kind of wish there were 2 Quit Dates in the “My Quit Plan” section of our website.  One for the day you quit smoking cigarettes (well worth celebrating regardless if you are still using NRTs) and another for the day you quit using any kind of nicotine.  Thoughts?  Other than, "Oh Tom, quit your whining!"

[Deb-EX]

elvan‌- Good Morning!! HA! I don't choose my 5am wake up time, it chooses ME! I guess because my husband gets up for work, my son at 6am for school, Momma has to be up too... But even on weekends 6am is a treat! I love it in the summer, but I HATE it in the winter.. and It doesn't matter what time I go to bed, I get up at the same time every single day.. which puts me in bed during the week by 9pm and out like a light LOL. I wish I could SLEEP like my dog, who doesn't get up until like 9am - brat!

 You described driving perfectly.. it's a "Okay, NOW what?" moment!! but these diversions (water, candy MUSIC) do work if you give them a chance. I don't get into a bad mood over it - I CHOOSE  not do that anymore, no one took my cigs away! 

 It's SOOO funny you should mention that about the sore mouth because that was ME last week eatting "Ice-breakers".. The top of my mouth went RAW, and I had to stop eating them - hence the Mento's :-))) 

 I completely agree about the exercise too.. Since my quit, I've taken up raking leaves... LOL.. On the days I can, a bag or 2 and I DO feel GREAT!!! It's uplifting and my whole state of mind gets a feeling of determination. It does make a difference! I LOVE walking my dog around Right now I am KNEE deep in Christmas decorations and decorating - which I love to do.

Wow in a blink of an eye 20 days have gone by!  I never thought this possible 22 days ago!  I honestly have to say the PATCH has been a god's send to someone like me who never thought I could quit the habit of smoking. Staying close to the group and READING as much as I can has also been a gods send - the combination of everything ESPECIALLY YOU, has been a positive experience I never thought would happen. 

Anything is better than smoking.... 

I hope you have a great day Ellen!!! Talk to you later!

  HUGS XoXo

[elvan]

Deb-EX‌ Well, I have been up for several hours  but I am just getting on here.  I had some things to do before I hit EX.  I am trying to finish Christmas shopping and I am at the point where I am not even sure what I have...happens every year.  I have to sit down and write down what I have gotten and who the things are for.  There are things all over my room and nothing has been wrapped...I do love wrapping though so I will try to get some of that done.  A lot of stuff has to go to NY so I need to get moving on that stuff so it will get there on time.  Some things haven't arrived yet.

I was so disoriented when I tried to drive and I was terrified of going back to work after I quit.  I was running a touch screen register and I swear that they kept moving things around on the screen, LOL.  My poor mouth was so sore from those sour candies but I wasn't about to give them up because they were WORKING.  Now, I can't even look at them without salivating...

One thing you MUST remember...smoking is not a HABIT, it is an ADDICTION and it has to be taken very seriously.  I am so glad you found this site...I am so glad I found it as well.

Love,

Ellen

[Deb-EX]

elvan‌ -  Is Christmas sneaking up VERY fast??  All of a sudden I feel so behind in everything, but, really I'm not?!! I have things to start moving on too though, I keep telling myself, it always gets done! One thing at a time. I guess focusing on me over the last 20 days also speed things up!

Now whats this about you being disoriented, going back to work after you quit?!  What happened? I hope all is OK! Please let me know!! 😞

[elvan]

Deb-EX‌ Going back to work was really fine, I was just scared...I hate point of sale screens...they just make me crazy.  The same thing happens at my current job.  I have to reorient myself to the register every time I go in...keep in mind that I am a retired nurse now working as a cashier and also that I only work one day a week so that's plenty of time for me to forget everything I learned the week before.  I work the register and run food until the kitchen closes at 3:00 and then I sweep the entire place, clean the bathrooms, wrap any leftover pastries and bagels and seriously just about pass out.  I am so tired when I leave there that I cannot get in my car.  I can't get my leg to lift up and if I try to grab the bar, my shoulder starts up.  I told my husband that I need a little stool but then someone would have to pick it up and put it in the car after I get in.  I don't have a huge car, just a Ford Escape but sciatica always hits my right side and my right shoulder is currently my WORST shoulder.  I didn't get any wrapping done but I moved everything into the dining room so I don't have to LOOK at it.  It DOES seem like Christmas is coming quickly but it feels like time is passing faster and faster and I am not sure what that is about.  It's a little freaky...

Have a great evening,  I will be working tomorrow, will check in before I leave and MAY be after I get home.  Sometimes, that doesn't work out so well.

Hugs,

Ellen

[Deb-EX]

elvan You are cracking me up!! I just have this VIVID imagination of what you were going through... I am so sorry for your pain though Ellen, sciatica pain SUCKS! unfortunately.. I know what that's like on occasion. But the way you wrote it, the whole scene sounds hysterical. I do hope you are feeling better today! That's a lot of work you are doing, a lot of standing up on your feet all day. If you are in pain it must be very exhausting... physically and mentally! I hope you get the rest you need and great Idea about moving all your stuff to the dining room. Tackle that when you're having a GOOD day.

This morning I got up and I was off and running... I got more done this morning than I did all week! I had my list and I completed every single thing AND I even filled up my tank with gas! I guess I am having a good day 🙂 You're right, naturing my quit this week was way more important than any stupid errand I needed to run, and it must of paid off.

I will keep saying it until it gets easier - driving and not smoking is a MAJOR trigger for me. It's been the hardest "mental" habit to break and I imagine it always will be. I thought the morning cigarette would be my biggest challenge, not even close.. proving that you can not predict when this addiction will rear its ugly head! I'm trying all sorts of different things to change that routine, but dang if I'm not pouting away trying to figure it out... LOL. 

I don't trust this addiction for ONE SECOND. But I will enjoy a good day - (heck a good hour even) when I'm having one. On a day like today, pushing off my cravings seem easy and it gives he HOPE! 

As always thank you for being there for me, and thank you for the laugh... even if it was at your expense (something tells me you don't mind...)  :-)))))

 Hugs and big XOXOX's to YOU! 

[TW517]

How interesting that driving is still your biggest trigger.  Even though I smoked the majority of my cigarettes in the car, I lost that trigger within a few days.  The one I couldn't shake for months was my after meal smoke urge.  And I didn't always smoke after meals.  Go figure. 

There I go comparing my quit with someone else's .  I guess every quit truly is unique!  Glad you are able to enjoy a day (or hour) when you can!

[Deb-EX]

 TW517‌ I completely agree!! Every quit truly is unique that's for sure. I NEVER expected driving would be such a trigger.. actually it was the last thing I even thought about lol.. But when I get in my car, I must of been on "auto pilot"  lighting that cigarette! and Oh if a good song comes on - than for sure I want to turn up the tunes and SMOKE! You're right go figure.. the urges I thought would be my down fall, turned into the easiest to handle and the one thing I didn't even think about turns into my enemy - SMH! 

I hope you're having a great day! Here in NY it's a bit cold, but the sun is out and the air feels great to breath in!! I feel grateful.

[YoungAtHeart]

Be sure to keep a cold bottle of water from which to sip in the car, and perhaps some Fireballs or sugarfree gum?  Also, try to change up your routes to go the usual places to provide new scenery to enjoy.  You can also count the red/blue/white cars you see, or the number of trucks, or the number of lights you hit (or miss).  If tunes are a trigger, then perhaps get a book on tape from the library to listen to while you drive.

Remember, you're relearning your life as an ex-smoker, so changing things up is important!

Nancy

[Deb-EX]

FIREBALLS!!! Ohhhh Wow, do they still even sell Fireballs?!! LOL, those were always my favorite as a kid! I haven't seen them around for years! HA!

Yes, I always have my water bottle, and I just bought Mento's for the car holder. Now I'm trying out, every time I get into my car, I take a Mento 1st. It seems like I need a step 1 to replace. So basically before, I got into the car, let a cigeratte THEN started it and bulked in. Odd, I never took notice of that until I realized something was missing!! Now I do the same, with exception of course that I get into the car, take a Mento. .... Let's see how that works

I LOVEEEEE the book on tape idea! That's a definite WILL TRY! I actually have a stack of my son's books that need to go back to the library - so tomorrow I will return them and hit the book on cd section.. any suggestions? 🙂  

FANTASTIC idea, I'm actually very excited to try that - thanks Nancy!

[elvan]

 Deb-EX    I don't mind at all...humor gets me through some of the worst possible experiences you can imagine.  YoungAtHeart‌ just made me laugh out loud, a POUND of fireballs... OMG.  Of course, I had my Sour Patch Kids and I bought the biggest bags they had at Walmart.  My hardest trigger has been the reward cigarette...man, that one rears its ugly head sometimes even NOW.  I blow it off but it always seems to surprise me because it's pretty strong.  I have so much stuff in the dining room now and more packages just came today.  I have a feeling that my shopping might be lopsided...I might be buying for the easiest people and leaving the hard ones for last.  I will get there, sooner or later.

I was at Goodwill the other day and someone ran into me and I nearly tripped over my own feet, I must have looked like I had been drinking...I had a pile of clothes in my arms and I went to the dressing room.  Much to my horror, my blouse was unbuttoned all the way to my waist and my back brace was all wrinkled up and looking seriously odd.  My husband must not look at me...I do believe that some of the other bargain hunters did, LOL.  I have to sew those damn button holes tighter so that doesn't happen again, what a bunch of nightmares I probably caused for those people.