I can relate to absolutely everything that you just wrote. I have been smoking for 13 years and it has been my everything. It's my pick-me-up, my crutch, my stress reliever, etc. I have tried to quit more times than I care to admit. There is no easy way for anyone to deal with it and you REALLY have to be ready. If you truly think you're ready, I'd recommend discussing options with a doctor. I know that I personally get really depressed and anxious when I don't smoke and asked my doctor about Zyban. It was originally prescribed as an anti-depressant. Instead, he suggested Chantix and another separate medication to help me deal with the anxiety and depression. It's been 20 days and I'm feeling so much better. I too am dealing with relationship issues. It sucks. When things get bad, I call my friends, get out of the house for as long as I think i need to, go for a LONG (like an hour or 2) walk, drink Lots of water, chew gum, read, or just go to bed early. I have been forcing myself to go to bed early and it's truly amazing what a few extra zzzz's can do for you. Everything looks a little less overwhelming after a good night's rest. This is your life and you only live once. I don't recommend letting relationship issues keeping you from doing what you want to do for yourself. That's one reason why I have failed in the past and it's just not worth it. Try doing something you'd never thought to do...like check out local tourist traps that you'd never even considered. Distract yourself. Good luck. When you're ready, you'll know.