Help!!!!

[stephanie11]

Having a really bad day. This is day 21 and for some reason I can't tolerate anyone or anything. My husband made it worse by smoking in the car today when we were out doing errands. I'm finding it really difficult to deal with him smoking and not even discussing quitting. I know he has to want to quit but it seems really selfish. I've been on the verge to throw in the towel all day. I don't know if I can stay away from them (cigs) when their always around me. I don't want to give up, but I can't stand being in this bad mood!!!!!! Help talk me down!!!! lol

[becky16]

Stephanie,
You are in a difficult situation, but you can do it.. Day 21..............the third week is one of the hardest. Go over the reasons why you want to quit and write them down. Try deep breathing. Do some exercises, like jumping up and down. Eat a handful of nuts (the chewing helps). Take a relaxing bath and go to sleep early. YOU CAN DO THIS! AFTER THIS WEEK IT WILL GET EASIER! DON'T LET GO OF WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

I know what it is like to try and quit while your signifigant other is smoking. Somewhere on this site I saw a group someone started on this. Find it and discuss with them your feelings. Do you have any projects you need to do? Get busy. You can't make him quit, but perhaps you can get him to respect what you are trying to do for yourself and for him. Tell your hubby you can't drive with him right now if he is going to smoke in the car and you would appreciate his support on your tyring to quit. Tell him to think about the money you'll both be saving, as well as, you're getting healthy not only for yourself but for him. Tell him you won't be so miserable and therefore, won't be so hard to live with.

KEEP YOUR EYE ON YOUR GOAL AND AGAIN LOOK FOR THAT GROUP, THEY MAY HAVE SOME IDEAS. For me, I had to get away at times and did all the things above plus found a passion in painting wildlife. I didn't go in the same car with my hubby if we wanted to go somewhere, I drove my own car.

[debby4]

21 days is a really good quit. don't let the nicodemon tell you that it will make things better if you smoke---it won't. Can you go for a walk, or get away for a bit to just calm down a bit? We're all here cheering for ya and know that you have it in you to kick ash....keep on keeping on 🙂 You can, ya know!

[polly2]

Hey Stephanie! I know it has to be hard for you being around your husband's smoke. Is there anyway that you could and he could compromise. For example -- no smoking in the car and only certain places, so that you can have a smoke free area? It sounds to me as if the nicodemon is trying to take you down. Remember that smoking will NOT make you feel better, it will only make you feel worse, since you've worked hard to get these 21 days under your belt! This is a day you should be celebrating!! The best thing you can do is push away the nicodemon with positive thinking. These thoughts may help:
Smoking is not an option
I deserve life over death
Cravings won't kill me, but smoking will
I am a happy, healthy, confident non-smoker
There is no such thing as one cigarette for me
To help your mood, have you ever tried meditation to relax your mind? There is a free guided meditation on www.meditainment.com, which would definitely relax you and perhaps put things back into perspective for you.
Another thing that really helps when you are not feeling good is to jump in and help other people here. It not only strengthens your commitment to remain a non-smoker but it is also awesome to know that you just may be helping someone to save their life!! When we help others, our problems tend to go away...Also, do some deep breathing in fresh air -- really feel it in your lungs and take note of how much better that you feel with those deep breaths. One last suggestion is to get outside and exercise or even go to a gym. You should see the effects of doing exercise immediately -- even go up and down the stairs if you don't like exercise...Many congratulations on 21 days!! That is a huge milestone for you!! You deserve to pat yourself on the back and tell yourself thank you, while you're at it too!! You have given yourself the most precious gift of all -- it's simply called life!! This is your choice, not your husbands...

[manofsteele]

you have some good advice from others already ....stay strong .....no matter the circumstances .... you might consider writing a blog or writing on paper and saying goodbye to the cigarettes from your life and meaning it...... it sucks your husband is not helping ....

I have a video in the daily pledge group that helps you picture cigarettes differently so you will never want to go back to voluntarily poisoning yourself ever again.SO now many people picture cigarettes as cancer, hospitals, chemo, radiation, nurses and Dr's giving tests and test results, waiting and waiting for better news..... this is not a pretty picture and neither is smoking and at least you are being the smartest one by staying strong and not smoking.

U CAN DO IT !.... never stop fighting for your right to be smoke free!

[stephanie11]

Hi Toni, How's your first day going? I'm sorry to hear that you have COPD. I really think my husband has it. He coughs awful. It worries me. Your question about being angry, well I'm very angry with him but it does no good. Two of my children who live me smoke also. They all smoke outside, but I know there are cigs everywhere. I really think that Chantix made a big difference. It's not that when I get angry I want to smoke, it's more like I don't know what to do with myself. If I think about smoking a cig it almost immediately disgust me. Hang in there!!! Are you using any meds or patches to help you?

[stephanie11]

Thanks so much!!! I'm so glad I signed up to this website. It's a life saver. Stay in touch and let me know how your doing.

[stephanie11]

Being pissed is very hard to deal with. I've been told I had a temper before I quit smoking, you can only imagine how I am now.lol But seriously I didn't feel like this until the last few days. I'm working through it hoping each day it will get easier. Life right now for me is not easy without quitting smoking so trying to find reasons to be happy are hard enough. I found what you read about adreneline facinating. Maybe I need to find a exciting hobby like bungee jumping. Only kidding, I'll stick with Yoga. Good to hear from you.

[babs77]

Stephanie, you've got 21 days behind you. It'll get easier, trust me. You may want to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband and ask him to please show you some support by refraining as much as possible from smoking right in front of you (in the same room, in the car). Hopefully it's not too much to ask him to leave the room or warn you (so you can leave) that he is about to light up! And to smoke BEFORE he gets in the car with you. You may not get a lot of support as he's probably somewhat jealous of your quit but at least this will let him know that smoking right in front of you makes it extremely difficult for you and that you would appreciate his support in your efforts.

It does make it more difficult when you live with smokers during your quit. But think about tihs. After 21 days, if you threw in the towel and had a cigarette, what would be the benefit? If you smoked that nasty butt, I'm sure you'd start to immediately feel guilty afterwards and sorry that you just wasted 21 really hard fought days.

Protect that quit for all it's worth my friend. You worked hard for it and you deserve it. You CAN do this! And we're here to help.

[aly2]

YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT!

Remember why you wanted to do so in the 1st place--- tI'm sure that those reasons haven't changed.....

And the cigs will only calm you for a minute (if that---) and then you will be back in the whole trap of it all.

21 days~~~ WOW!!! You are my inspiration! Please stay that way....

Are u takin any meds? I am doing Welbutrin and it has really helped me this time... Also I would suggest a tincture called Rescue Remedy which you can get at health food stores. It really, really helps..... give it a shot.

Also, see if there are books or other resources that nourish your soul and help you stay strong~~~ I really enjoy reading inspiring stuff- like YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise L Hay & A NEW EARTH by Eckart Tolle.... Maybe hang out in a section of Barnes & Noble and browse through books like that just to get little helpful nuggets of wisdomand support. Sometimes one sentence is all you need/

And of course- as all you other ex-er friends here have said-- deep breaths and a nice walk are ALWAYS a good thing to turn to.

You know we are all here for you. We totally believe in you. Moment by MOment, you have done so much, wait it out another set of moments and before you know your mood will shift.

YOU CAN!!!! WE KNOW IT!!! KEEP US POSTED!!!