I had quit for 3.5 months and hardly ever thought about cigarettes or felt like I needed to come to this site anymore. Last night slipped and had 1. I had probably at least 30 minutes of internal battle with myself before it happened. I knew it was a bad idea before I did it but something made me do it. I was around someone smoking in a spot I used to love smoking (summer nights on my back patio). The cigarette tasted disgusting and I can still feel it in my lungs & taste a gross taste in my mouth the next morning. I’m so disappointed in myself. I have tried to quit dozens of times before but this was the longest I’d been smoke free in a long time. I need to set a really firm boundary about not being around people who are smoking. I DO NOT want to start smoking again and I can’t believe I used to smoke 20 of these things a day sometimes. Gross!
