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Give and get support around quitting

NicMensinga
Member
‎07-20-2019 07:30 PM

Gut wrenching grief

Hi everyone,

I've had to reset my quit date yet again. I am feeling frustrated but I am doing my best. 11 months yesterday since I lost the love of my life. I found out on Friday that I have to go to court and read out a victim impact statement of how his death has affected my life. It's just brought everything back up for me.. I spent all day yesterday crying and today I feel like I can barely function... I know being smoke-free will help me but when I feel like this, all reasoning goes out the window. I hope everyone else is still going well.. Just felt I needed to share

43 Replies
Barbara145
Member
‎07-21-2019 08:31 AM

So sorry for your loss.  If you are grieving again it still needs to be grieved.  When we don't completely grieve a loss it will show up at our next loss. Grieve your loss and take kind and gentle care of yourself.  Thinking of you.  

NicMensinga
Member
‎07-21-2019 02:18 PM
In response to Barbara145

Oh I cry every day & write in a journal. I know the smokes suppress the feelings a bit and I don't want that.. Some days I don't really care. It's a very hard thing to go through.. Smoking is only making it harder though. I know this.. thank you x

0 Kudos
MarilynH
Member
‎07-21-2019 08:46 AM

I'm sending you a humongous caring hug along with good thoughts and prayers we're all here to help you in any way we can please stay close blog as often as you need to....NicMensinga

NicMensinga
Member
‎07-21-2019 02:18 PM
In response to MarilynH

thank you  xx

0 Kudos
jonimarie
Member
‎07-21-2019 12:26 PM

I agree with what Barbara145 said.

Grieving is a journey it is not an event. It takes time and each individual grief process is unique.

Take care

NicMensinga
Member
‎07-21-2019 02:19 PM
In response to jonimarie

The hardest journey I have been on so far and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.. thank  you x

0 Kudos
Christine13
Member
‎07-21-2019 12:53 PM

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss and the statement you have to make in court.  I lost my husband Jan. 1, 2018.

I can imagine loosing my partner as the result of a car hitting him.  You are in my heart as you go through this.

Quit when you are ready, I am praying for you.

NicMensinga
Member
‎07-21-2019 02:19 PM
In response to Christine13

Thank you.. I am sorry for you loss too x

0 Kudos
Coyote1
Member
‎07-25-2019 12:03 PM

So sorry for your loss love. We are here to listen when you need to vent. Totally get the desire to smoke during such a time is strong. 

George-Martin
Member
‎07-27-2019 12:15 AM

Grief is such a difficult thing- it is a form of trauma for sure.  I wouldn't dare minimize your emotions.  

I have gone thru a very difficult time with my ex wides infidelity and other things she has done- just repeated insult to injury!  I could tell I was just huffing down cigarettes- and finally figured out I was just trying my best to bury the pain with nicotine-really it makes anxiety so much worse.

So on this quit- I decided to not fight the urges- rather look at the urge to smoke as rising emotions that i just let have their way with me-just allow them to be- no fighting- no suppressing - just let them see the light of day so i can heal- it seems to be working for me

I don't know if this may help you- I wish you the best with your journey to recover from the intense situation you are going thru-  I really love this site for support- stay with us!