Dealing with unsupportive people...

[vanessa11]

Many times in the past I have tried to quit smoking. I have a lot of support from many of the people around me, but there is one person who is very difficult to lend that support. She is my best friend, and has been smoking cigaretts longer than I have. I have told her many times my intentions to quit, and my reasons for it, but she is not very supportive. Whenver we get together, and I try to quit, it is very difficult to get her not to smoke in front of me, it becomes such an issue. When she does smoke near me, I start to get the temptations to smoke, when I really want to stay motivated. She will start to convince me that having one drag or one cigarette won't hurt me, so eventually I give in. I am really serious about quitting, and have slipped because her habits continue to rub off on me. She has no intentions of quitting, and I don't want to have to avoid her just because of her smoking. Can anybody out there give me some tips so I don't fall through the cracks when I'm with her?

[doreen1]

Your friend is wrong. It takes 72 hours for the toxins to leave your body and "one drag" or "one cigarette" starts that clock all over again. So, if you are "slipping" you are shooting yourself in the foot. Forgive me if I sound harsh, but I have to wonder just exactly what kind of friend would not support another in their effort to become healthier? Seems to me, you have one of two choices - find a way to remain smoke free when you are around this particular friend or find another friend. No one ever said this was going to be easy, but IT CAN BE DONE!! Hang in there. Holler if you need us.

[jen-x]

My best friend smokes and has no plans to quit. She's seen me struggle and when she comes over she doesn't bring her cigarettes. I don't want to appear preachy and she wants to see me succeed. True friends always put the best interest of their friends over their own.
Until you have a handle on your addiction you owe it to yourself to give yourself the best chance possible. Do yourself a favor and surround yourself with people that want what is best for YOU. Misery loves company and as much as it may hurt you now it will pass. So will the cravings. If you don't do it now then when will you do it? When you become much more intrenched by the nicotine? You like to run? Run, run, run.
You can do this!

[cindy25]

Wow, she must be worried that if you don't smoke -and she still does- THAT somehow means something in your relationship. She doesn't realize that it doesn't mean anything. Maybe you should have a chat with her about that. Make sure she understands that you will still be there for her, still hang out, still gossip, still goof around, etc. You will not be someone totally different- you will still be YOU (only not smoking). While you are having this "heart-to-heart conversation- tell her that you need her support to not ever take another puff again and since she is your best friend, you are counting on her to be strong for you. If that doesn't work- kick her to the curb for about two weeks until you get that nicodemon to quiet down.

[cindy25]

Wow, she must be worried that if you don't smoke -and she still does- THAT somehow means something in your relationship. She doesn't realize that it doesn't mean anything. Maybe you should have a chat with her about that. Make sure she understands that you will still be there for her, still hang out, still gossip, still goof around, etc. You will not be someone totally different- you will still be YOU (only not smoking). While you are having this "heart-to-heart conversation- tell her that you need her support to not ever take another puff again and since she is your best friend, you are counting on her to be strong for you. If that doesn't work- kick her to the curb for about two weeks until you get that nicodemon to quiet down.

[steve6]

Not much of a friend. I can't imagine treating someone I really cared about that way. Lay down the law and tell her she has to respect what you are trying to do or you will sever the relationship. If you can't do that, forget about your quit because you're wasting your time. Hey, you really don't need us to tell you this, do you? Quitting is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life, and you better give it a 100% effort if you expect to have any chance of success.

[melissa9]

Well my mother in law doesn't do that cause she doesn't smoke but she does things like when I told her I was quitting saying how long this time. A day? a week? WHen I called her and said Mom I have been quit for a week she said well this isn't the first time you lasted a week you will start back. You are to week to quit. Once when I quit my cousin would ask me if I wanted a cig or a drag. This time I told her don't ask me. don't even bring them close to my house leave them in your car. She has done that. I think it took me sitting her down and looking her in the eyes and telling her I am serious this time. SHe totally supports me. She is being a rock for me even tho her life is turned upside down right now.

[greg14]

We'll I can understand where you are comming from . I have a friend ,who is alos my best friend. When I have tried to quit , she has said things like " oh you quiittng .. again ! " really sacasticallty , or said " this time will be a day or wekk hey?" or tells me that life is short and I shoud not even worry about quitting anymore. But I inore things like that , cause she is just worried of loosing me and she know that smoking is bad and she is addicted and I am getting out of it. Most smokers are threatened when a smokers becomes a non smokers. I have actually not told my friend that I even quit and it has been 7days. But hang in there and be strong !!!!! You can do this , do this for you !!

[raychel]

Be strong. Simply be strong.

In the end it is still our decision. Your friend cannot force you to smoke. Unless she is holding you down, putting a cigarette in your mouth and lighting it...you have no excuse. Even then I'm not sure she can make you inhale lol Maybe punch yah in the gut 😉

[joe10]

Live Strong, Be Strong, Live Well.
Vanessa - It looks like if you want to quit you are going to have to avoid your friend or ask her to stop smoking in front of you. Smoking is a social habit. You do it while on the phone, while talking outside...and stuff like that. Tell her that if she is your friend she has to stop smoking in front of you. At least for awhile. Once you break the conrol tyour mind has on your habit you will be fine.