Hi @Masako1 I was also a private, or as I called it, closet smoker. Just stopped 13 days ago. We have something "extra" to deal with. Since people don't know, or we assume/pretend they don't know, we can't share with a lot of people we are quitting. I have never smoked in front of anyone, not even my wife. I don't even smoke on my own property. Generally, I just go for drives multiple times/day and hikes in the woods. Obviously my wife knew I smoked, and some other people knew I smoked just from the smell. But I would drive in the coldest days w/ my car windows down and fan blowing to try to help w/ the smell. You do have a support system now, you are on it. Pick the date, get started, and be on here tons. The only person outside of this site I wanted as a support buddy was a FB friend on the other side of the world. I don't even discuss my quit w/ my wife as she has seen so many attempts before that I just would feel silly discussing it w/ her. I did have her hide my keys for the first 3 days which killed my access to getting cigarettes and driving.
Anyways, I know first hand what you are feeling, so you do have at least one person here who understands closet/private smoking. And even if others don't have that experience, they will still be supportive. Once you start your quit, spend a lot of time on here to distract your mind and keep your resolve strong. Another good site I like is whyquit.com. Hope it's alright for me to post that on here.
