I had blogged this, but had some requests to move it to the forum.
I quit smoking 100 days ago. I'm not minimizing my quit, but in the last 100 days, history has been made and the world has changed. We got pounded by a hurricane, the US economy tanked, and we elected a black President. I'm like the little kid in the back of the classroom, frantically waving my hand because I know the answer. If the teacher would just call on me. The answer is that no matter what happens, we go on. We keep pushing forward, and we don't give up.
Why is my quit no big deal? Because it is what it is. It is a part of my life. Quitting was easy. Staying the quit is where it can get tricky. Staying this quit has been relatively easy when I think of previous quits and the devil on my shoulder telling me just one won't hurt. That little guy was banished before I ever quit this time. I welcomed the lifestyle change; was wanting it; was tired of the slavery and just wanted to be free. I wanted to feel good again, to actually live my life, instead of being led around by the next smoke. I wanted assurance that my future health would not be in question because I smoked. I wanted my life back. All of it.
As I think back on the last 100 days, my quit seems miniscule when compared to what has happened around the world. What I must never forget, is in the context of MY life, my quit was everything. Not only has the world changed, but MY world has also changed. I no longer think about smoking. I really don't. The habit is gone, and now, sometimes, it feels like I never smoked, the thought of holding a cigarette and putting one between my lips is very foreign to me. I like that. When I look in the mirror, I don't worry about the lines around my mouth from smoking, because they are no longer there. I like that a lot. I can take the deepest, most cleansing breath and not feel the tickle in my lungs. I know my children enjoy having all of me, and not having to wait for me to finish a cigaretter before their needs are met. I love that.
I haven't felt good for over a year. And the couple of months before my quit and after I felt the worst. I thought that quitting smoking would make me feel better physically. It didn't make much difference at all. What my quit did do is make me address some health issues that were being masked by the smoking. Sometime around Day 60 I went to my naturopathic doctor and began taking my health back. It has been a process, because I didn't get into that unhealthy place overnight. I am now feeling my strength return, my energy level is much better and while I am still not where I know I'll be, the fatigue has abated and the depression from being tired all the time has gone. I feel my joy again. And best of all, I have gumption again. Isn't that a great word? You have to quit with gumption; you have to live with gumption!
My quit is just another piece of my life. It belongs there. It isn't my whole life, but it is a part of it. My world no longer revolves around my quit. My world revolves around my family, friends and health. That is as it should be, as it was before the cigarettes, and now after. I'll never take one puff, ever again. I'll never compromise who I am physically, mentally and emotionally by smoking. It is so much better to be here, where I am right now, than where I was 101 days ago.
