feeling a bit down...

[brookeanne]

 I am a single mom, divorced almost 4 years. I just ended a 2 year relationship, that was not healthy at all. Everday was an emotional roller coster for me. Anyways, I have realized since my break up, I have seen cigarettes somewhat of a companion. Now that I don't turn to them, I am feeling really alone and sad. It's nothing I'm going smoke over, just trying to figure out how to handle this without smoking. I know I can do it, because I am a NON SMOKER!!

[sooz2]

BrookAnne- You were there for me yesterday, now it's my turn to be there for you.  I'm a single mom too.  Divorced for 2 years.  When my kids finally figured out that I wasnt' smoking (I didn't want to tell them in case I failed) my son asked me why I quit.  He'd been bugging me to quit for over a year.  I had no specific reason for quitting, I just knew it was time to lay them down or it was going to kill me.  Anyway, I smarted off and told him that I quit for him.  My 15 year old didn't hestitate with his reply ... he told me not to quit for him to quit for myself.  Out of the mouths of babes!

You are doing this for yourself and you are smart enough to know that those nasty, smelly cigs are NOT your friend or companion. 

You are a beautiful young woman with your entire (smoke-free) future before you.  Now, take a deep breath, drink a tall glass of ice water and find another companion.

[mellie4]

YES BROOKANNE YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

THE SAME WAY YOU YOU BROKE OFF A 2 YEAR RELATIONSHIP IS THE SAME WAY YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO CIGS. NOT HEALTHY EITHER.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

We tend to look for happiness in someone else. I think it's human nature.

And when you find that someone, those endorphins get going, for awhile.

Then when it's held up to the light, we realize we went down the wrong road.

We need to find happiness in ourselves.

Smoking covered up a lot of the inequities in life because of the endorphin release is causes.

Find something you love to do, not someone.

[Amber4]

BrookeAnne,

I have come to the conclusion that boys are dumb.  (please see my blog about 2 weeks ago for a full explaination).  So while boys drool and girls rule...it is important to remind ourselves of that!

I agree with Dale, find something to love not someone.  This is a time for you now.  A time for your recovery.  Focus on that and  focus on you.  Let the stupid boy go and the stupid cigarettes go too.  You are stronger than that and you will make it through!

[janie21]

Amazing how we all go through the same feelingd isn't it? You are grieving the cigs and everyday they will get further away as you fill your days with other things. As we let go of these things we are making room for new WAY better things!!!!!!!!!!!

[jaimefriggin]

I think mellie hit it right on the head.  Cigarettes were your companion and it's time to break it off with what is essentially an unhealthy partner.  If you're gonna do good for yourself, might as well do it all the way right?

I think BrookAnne had a great point too.  Boys are dumb.  Just sayin'.

[karyn3]

CLEAN ! move furniture around be busy ! I know it helps me , but you do have to sit n think sometime n in that be glad your cleaning up your life smoke free ! Nothings worth smoking over , for me I know realize it added depression it didnt help it>

[BobbyMaynard]

The way you feel is normal, natural and understandable BrookeAnne. You have just gotten out of two unhealthy relationships and even though you know you are doing the right thing in both cases it is a big change in your life and a sense of loss is to be expected. It's OK to feel sad, that feeling will pass. Even though I only know you from your postings I do believe you to be a strong, courageous, intelligent young woman with so much to offer. I would suggest that you spend a little time becoming your own best friend and learning to love and appreciate yourself. You are young and all kinds of things are possible for you if you believe in yourself and pursue your potential. I know you will not smoke and I know you will feel better soon. This may not feel like it but I do believe this is progress. Keep moving forward, that is where the good stuff waits.

[mojo8]

I friend told me this once, pray to God to send you an angel so you will not be so lonely.  Also, your angle is not smoking and neither should you.  You can do this.

[Dakota_Posse]

Here is your Angel BrookeAnne!   Mourn the loss of your cigarettes, after all, they were your BEST friend for years....never left you, never questioned anything you did.....the only thing they wanted was your LIFE.  You will find someone out there who will love you for yourself.  Let your angel be there now and enjoy your kids!  The rest will come later.....

[beachbum1212]

Buck up Lil' Camper!! Pull out your list of reasons you wanted to quit (assuming you made one prior to quitting) and remind yourself of the positive things going on in your life! You smell better, feel cleaner, teeth are shinier, you can walk up stairs without breathing heavy, your sense of smell has returned, etc etc etc. Take a walk and use your new sense of smell!! Reward yourself for your progress! When is the last time you had a mani/pedi? Do whatever....JUST DON"T SMOKE!!!!

[jeannie2]

Companion to doom lol...I think about how much I Hate cigarettes....what a waste of money, time ,health, cancer sickness, stinky ,gross,lung killers, heart attackers, go on and add to the list

[brookeanne]

Thank you for all the positive comments and feedback. I am usually a very positive and upbeat person. But, we all have our moments right?!?!? Tomorrow is another day, and this too shall pass! Now, I have a Connect Four game to go play! N.O.P.E 🙂

[ajalder20t]

i am glad you got positive feedback from others and I think you got your answer too...

When you feel down and sad and alone because you feel like you have broken an emotional bond with, your friend, the cigarette, you know what you do???

You come here. And you tell us (the community of ex-ers) that  you are having a hard day, that you feel sad and alone, and you're feelings of loneliness are triggering your brain to point you in the direction of a smoke that, inevitably, will make you feel worse, not only will you feel sad and alone, but most likely you will feel like you have failed yourself, at least for a little while.

WE, the community of ex-ers, know how those feelings go, and that is what WE are here for. To be your ear and shoulder to lean on to help you get through those times. We want you to be healthier, for your family and for yourself, we want you to be proud of yourself for ending another bad relationship (with cigarettes who have the full potential to kill).

Here is your answer. Come here, let us be here for you, and keep on track. Good luck.

[danirn784]

Yes, Brooke, we all have our moments!  You are entitled to yours!  Sounds like you have a couple major life transitions grouped together and neither is easy.  So while it may be difficult for now, just remember you are gaining everything by losing those 2 things!  No one can love you better than you.  I think everyone here can relate to feeling lonely!  We'll always be here for you no matter what!  Isn't it amazing how quickly smoking isn't the standby anymore???

[Bonnie11.3.2009]

Careful not to romance those cigarettes.  Yes, you will think of them quite a bit, but really they are not your companion, are they?  They're nothing but a bunch of dried leaves wrapped in white paper.  And to think we put them in our mouth and light them on fire!!!!!  Just a bit of insanity, isn't it?

Helps me to stay in reality about the damn things.  Hope it helps you too!

[marie23]

I get how you feel I sometimes miss this nasty habit because I used it as a coping mechanism. I now tell myself I will cope the best I can without putting hot posion in my lungs and I agree this too shall pass helps a lot. peace to you