Today is day 31 - I didn't think I was going to make it to 30, but I did it! Wow! I wish I had someone to do my happy dance with. My best friend puts me down for quitting, she says she is just kidding, but it hurts - she has said that I am being a bitch since I am not smoking - I won't allow smoking in my car -
My husband does not want to hear me talk about it, I have tried many times and he walks away from me while I am talking, or just says the "uh huh" and is not listening -
Yesterday I told my friend that she is hurting my feelings by her statements, and she said "I am just kidding" I said it hurts me, and this is one of the hardest things that I have ever done. She said "well I am not the one quitting" and I told her that if and when she does quit that I would be there to support her in every way that I can and I would never say or do anything to hurt her like that. She said "well I am sorry" - it sounded sarcastic to me and not sincere.
I told my husband about this conversation with my friend after he got home from work, and I also told him that I feel alone and not getting any support. He said "I support you, but I am not going to put a gold star on your forehead". I told him how I am feeling that he is not listening to me and that I have no one to talk to about my not smoking - except all of the wonderful people that I am meeting on the EX site/forums - I told him that I need for him to listen to me and not walk away from me - he said "Oh" . I think he heard me this time - but I know it won't last.
Is it just me? I am thinking that these 2 people really don't give a shit about what I am going through, and these 2 people are the closest to me.
So here I sit, another day crying and feeling alone again, but doing my happy dance inside my heart but alone with my kleenex - I need to get out of this FUNK!