Yesterday was a beautiful, wonderful day, full of promise and joy, but as many things are, days can be deceiving. Last night I went to revival and as I was leaving, my guy friend who said he was leaving at the end of the month, was outside working on his truck with a friend. I told him there was supper fixed in the microwave and I was off to church. He said that was fine, he would be at the the house. Yesterday morning he had said he thought maybe he didn't want to leave me after all and of course that was confusing, but I thought we had found a comfortable place with each other. I went to church, about an hour away and enjoyed it a lot, I got home around ten or so and he was not here. I could see that he had been here all evening, the washer was full of water and the hood was up on the truck, light under the hood too. I came in the house and called his cell and he told me that he had messed up a piece on his truck and drove to the next town over to get the part from a friend. I said ok, but it was getting late, he asked me to watch his truck until he got here. I sat here talking to some of you while waiting for him to get here. It seemed that it was taking a little long, so I called again and reminded him I had to get to bed, I keep kids very early in the morning. He said no prob, he was leaving now, about twenty minutes later he pulled in and I started going to bed. He came in the house and I walked over to him, he seemed different. I asked was he ok? He said he did not feel well and thought he would just go to bed. I asked him how did he not feel well and he started pulling on his arm and rubbing his chest. I told him to sit down and he kept saying it was hot, turn on the air which I did, but knew it was not hot, he was clammy and sweating. I told him I thought I better call 911, he said no, but we went back and forth and I called anyway. I walked in the hall and told them I thought he was having a heatrt attack at 45. They finally got here and put the monitor on him and took me in the hall and said yes he has. They took him to a large hospital about 45 minutes from the house. I called some of his family and one of his brothers came and got me and his mother and we were there all night. He did have a heart attack, brought on by massive blockage to his heart, caused by smoking and eating fatty foods. The doctor said he should count himself blessed that he had someone there that recognized what was happening and got help quickly, that they were able to get to him quickly and that he did not die on the road trying to get home. The doctor has told me he will have to have major life style changes, including no more smoking, or he will die, because there are other blockages and he said they would see him again, if things weren't changed, but next time he would not be so lucky. I have had about three hours sleep and later I will go back to the hospital and visit. Life is so strange, I love this man and he has hurt me, I am not sure how I should feel at this point. I know last night there was a moment when the cigarette smoking thought popped in my head, but I thought now how stupid is that and go on liar, there will never be an excuse to smoke, not sorrow, not any reason...Please say a prayer for him today to those of you that pray and a prayer for me to help me through the stress and sorrow...
