(For those of you who play Trivia-- or for any wanting to give it a try -- you can access the newest game of Trivia by clicking on this link TRIVIA-GAME-FOR-THE-WEEK-OF-05-31-2022 -- or you can find it in the games section.)
Well, this "quit" of mine which started on 8/25/2019 has sure taken a lot of turns. During the process, I gave up a 1.5 year quit last summer and with my last relapse starting on 05.15. 2022 I'd had 8 months under my belt.
But I am not kicking myself as I sit here writing this, as I learned a lot of stuff about myself this time around and have gotten "real" in my forever quit plan by addressing my emotional, physical and spiritual needs. The thing that brought me to my knees was an episode of debilitating anxiety.
I tend to run from "negative" emotions and the "hard things of life" and lacked the skills to tackle these challenges. So, I would smoke. The problems didn't go away but I somehow convinced myself the nicotine helped me to cope as I hacked away and stunk up my body.
This time around, I sought help. I am now on a prescription medication, am in counseling with a fantastic LCSW-R (advanced specialty), have returned to my faith -- which is sustaining me in an amazing way -- and am taking better care of myself by eating healthier and going to bed much earlier.
Another major change is that I have become a " Street Walker."
(LOL). By that I mean that I am walking in my neighborhood each day -- gradually increasing the distance. To keep track of my progress, I now wear a pedometer from the moment I get up in the morning until the last thing at night. Although others I know fill their days with much more physical activity than I, nevertheless I am pleased to report that I have gone from 1200 steps a day early on to my yesterday's highest ever total of 4,205 steps!!
For those of you who are maintaining sustained quits, I am so happy and so proud of you. ( One of these is my "quit-buddy" and dear friend @Christine13 -- hope I don't embarrass you Chris by singling you out). And I am always amazed by those who have stayed totally clean for oh-so-many-years : up to a decade or more!!
For those of you like me who have struggled along the way I want to encourage you to not give up. And to hopefully inspire you to get back on the "Freedom Train."
Past failed attempts are not accurate indicators of our ability to succeed. We have more determination and resolve and ability to succeed than we ever dreamed -- all we have to do is to tap into it.
I have found my "hidden abilities" through counseling, journaling and the resurrection of my past deep faith.
Throughout the day, I play many gospel songs which keep me centered. If you'd care to listen along with me, two of them are:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiJDzsfwc3E : Toby Mac: "Help is on the Way"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbbNtBXkQXI : Rascal Flatts : " I Will Stand By You."
Blessings! ~Suzy
