Well today is the day I quit smoking. I stayed in bed till almost 11am this morning. I actually wish I had stayed in bed the whole day! I had a cup of coffee and turned on the computer. Went to my Facebook page. I have found that when I'm in the kitchen I want to smoke...I didn't smoke in my house. I would smoke with the outside door open in the kitchen and would blow it out the door. So I'm finding that I want to smoke when I'm in the kitchen. This was earlier today. Now this evening I'm finding it comforting just standing by the stupid outside door! Weird!! Right around 5pm I had a bit of a break down. Cried for a bit. I think this is because on a normal day I would get off work and have my smoke on the way home. I live less then a 1/2 mile from my work so I would have the cigarette still by the time I pull in the driveway. Well my daughter and I took my van out to get it all cleaned up and smelling pretty this afternoon. When we got back and walked in the house that is when I lost it. I even had her drive so I wouldn't feel as bad. This is the other reason I wanted to quit now because we are on spring break here. So I'm not on my normal routine either. Monday should be interesting but at least I will have 3 days in. So anyway... It's now close to 8pm and I feel a little better now but I'm still thinking what a idiot I am for letting this stupid drug run my life!!! Oh I just get so mad when I think about how much it really ruled my life! So this is today's writing. Who knows I may want to write more later tonight I don't know. Right now I'm thinking about showering and getting in bed.... lol Thanks for all your wonderful posts and support! You guys are the best!!
Robin