Our blogs and inboxes are always turned on, 24/7, and they are there to help in a crisis. We get instant notifications on our devices, so we can respond rather quickly. When a quitter here is on the verge of collapsing, rescue help from the community and our collective library of blogs is just a mouse click or screen touch away.
But, sadly, we too often see that relapsers do not choose the website or the community in a crisis.
When they snatch up their car keys and stomp out the door, we are all standing in their driveway saying, “Please, don’t do this. Go back inside and let’s talk this through. Let‘s wait this out for 3 minutes. It will pass. Let‘s look at that list of cravebusters and try a few of them for 3 minutes. The Lemon Bite, The Freezer Head, The Pillow Punch. C‘mon, let‘s put those quit skills to use, just the way we promised we would.”
But, they get behind the wheel of the vehicle, anyway.
In the car, we’re sitting beside them in the passenger seat, saying, “Just sit here a moment to think about what you’re doing. Throw the keys over into the passenger-side floorboard, and then just sit here awhile. Breathe deeply…in and out, in and out, in and out…and calm down.”
But, they crank up the engine and hit the gas.
On the road, we suggest that they drive to a place that’s in the opposite direction from the corner store: a local playground, a nature park, the library, a trusted friend’s house, the courtyard of a church, the fishing pier of a pond…anywhere except the store.
But, they squeal up to the doors of the nearest Qwikie Mart.
In the parking lot, we urge them to call someone for HELP: a quit buddy, a sibling, a parent, a best friend, a coworker, a fellow EXer…anyone who will help stop them before they make a hurtful decision.
But, they march into the store, instead.
At the counter, we beg them to not ruin their quit, to not smash their quit clocks, to not throw away their quit date, to not disappoint the EX community in a sorrowful blog of confession.
But, they buy the cigarettes and a lighter, anyway.
As they slap-slap-slap the pack and peel off the wrapper, we holler at them to throw the whole thing in the trash and walk away. To just toss them in the dumpster and walk away from the store, before it‘s too late. To walk down the street, and then walk around the block, and then scream and kick and just shake it off.
But, they light up the cigarette and they smoke it.
And the quit is ruined. The clock resets to zero, and it’s back to square one.
It never has to be this way! We do so many things here to actively help one another stay out of danger: write blogs, share information, support friends with comments, be special pen pals, be trusted lifelines, send encouraging pictures to message boards, and share the skills and techniques that have proven to work for so many of us.
LET…US…HELP…YOU!
STORM: 326
(I wanted the newest among us to see a demonstration of how a crisis might play out, and see examples of how to work free of a potential relapse, moment by moment, before it goes too far. So that they might choose a fighting chance over a losing battle.)
