This morning instead of thinking about smoking, lost reflection time, or my many “to do” notes, I actually did something! I dusted in the living room. It took me awhile to get back up after dusting the low spots, but I did it.
The quit journey does change how we do things and the early days of that can be hard. Some of you made (or will make) the transition more quickly than I have, but I am learning to accept my pace. Even baby steps are progress. Due to physical limitations I am not seeing many obvious benefits of the quit journey, but still I persist. 🙂 Yet, I also find myself still struggling with the changes to how I do things, because some of the methods I seem to have lost were actually good ones for me. (Like having an organized day, actually finishing some things, instead of dabbling here and there….) Maybe some of the methods will come back to me one day. Maybe I will learn to refine and accept new methods. After all, even dabbling is progress. We shall see.
One of the strengths of this support site is the wide variety of participants, so each person working on a quit can find the support needed. Some of us respond best to a “firm hand”, others respond better to encouragement (I am definitely among the latter.) That variety is the base of the advice to “take what works for you and leave the rest”. Intellectually I understood that from the start but emotionally I sometimes found it hard not to be offended. Then one day it clicked that the real issue was my own resistance - I had found a reason to avoid a site that could also offer me needed support.
Although I am sure that sometimes my entries come across as not appreciating the site and the support offered, I want to assure you that is not correct. My ramblings are my way of working through my thoughts and emotions so that I can create a clear path forward. I DO appreciate my fellow travelers in this journey and the support you offer. Thank you.
