I have been coming here almost daily and readi'ng blogs. I have been having terrible breathing problems lately so I haven't felt like blogging or commenting. However, there seems to be this "whatever" going around latley on here and I can't shut up anymore.
(sitting here at the puter this may take me all day to write... but I am going to do it)
A lot of people have lost their struggle and are smoking again or postponing their quits. I seem to be taking it personally and quite frankly I am pissed! I just feel like SCREAMING at the top of my knarled lungs QUIT WITH THE EXCUSES ALREADY!!!!
I don't even know where to start...
Smoking is an addiction. Nicotine will screw with your common sense and reasoning and try and make you think you can't live without it. It makes you believe that you need it to handle stress. It has you convinced that you need it to Mourn a loss, handle a break up, deal with illnesses, or to enjoy the "after glow" of a good meal or sex. It whispers to you when you are in your car, sitting on your porch, waking up with coffee in the morning or entering a bar to have a beer.
QUIT GIVING NICOTINE THE UPPER HAND. Don't give it so much credit. Understand that 3 days...THREE DAYS... did you hear that? THREE DAYS is what it takes to get it OUT of your system. After that don't blame the nicotine or cigarette, blame the addiction. It will take months and years after that to deal with the triggers. Don't be niave' enough to think that you will never be tempted. You ask anyone here with quits longer than a year and they will tell you that out of no where they will get a twinge of that old habit calling to them.
It's what you do with that urge that will determine if you will be an Ex smoker or not. It's up to you. It's not up to stress, or nerves, or illness, or depression.... It's a decision. No one ever told you that this would be easy. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.
I quit smoking cold turkey June 4th, that was 105 days ago. Since then I have been diagnosed with a terrible disease, been forced to get a divorce for medical help, lost a dear friend, scattered my mothers ashes (who died shortly before I quit), suffered from depression/anxiety/fear/anger... yada, yada, yada. I didn't give in. I didn't run for cigarettes.
I am very proud of my counter. I watch the days change and out of everything in my life that is uncontrolable that is one thing I CONTROL. That is the one thing that I can take pride in.
For years I was one of those people who made excuses why I couldn't quit. It was never a good time. We're moving, I am starting a new job, I had a fight with my husband, my daughter went into the Military I am worried about her, we're going on vacation, my father died, my mother died... Sound Familiar?
These days I struggle every day for air. I woke up the other night unable to breath. Actually suffocating. I could not breath in or out. It only lasted about 5 or 10 seconds, but I can tell you those seconds seemed like HOURS. I am 47 years old and because of "MY EXCUSES" the rest of my life will include an oxygen tank.
