As a recovering alcoholic, the importance to stop drinking or the decision to stop drinking was a life or death decision. And immediate life or death decision. The decision to stop smoking or vaping is not as immediate but is just as much of a life or death decision. My long-term health is already suffering from the amount of vaping that I have done. I was feeling short of breath, my voice is husky and low, I feel myself reaching for my Juul first thing in the morning and just before bed. The first and last things on my mind should be God and my family.
Two days into hell week and I feel myself angry. I’m mad that I’m denying myself some thing. I feel alone in my suffering. I feel grumpy at the people around me who are not going through the same thing as me. And then I feel ashamed for being angry with the people around me who are there to support me. Shame comes from the dark. Shane grows stronger and increases fear when it is kept in the dark. My past experiences have taught me that bringing shame and fear to the light or the only way to destroy them. Find that person you can talk to and be completely honest with them, even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable. Have a plan when you go into a gas station or a storm where you used to buy your cigarettes. Know exactly what you’re going to get and only get that. Leave no room for yourself to negotiate.
I am blessed that I have my kids to hold me accountable. And my husband has seen me go through alcohol withdrawals, we have already built that trust in that relationship and he helps make suggestions or notices when I’m showing signs of struggle. Having someone as an accountability partner really helps. But it only helps if you’re honest.
