Hi Everyone! Happy Saturday!
I haven't posted a blog in a while. The highs and lows of quitting eventually even out and then what's there to talk about? You just keep going. Well, yes but I want to tell you the good gets even better!
To recap: The first few days of my quit I was a basket case. That settled into a strict discipline of being optimistic no matter what; I came to this site and encouraged other people even if I was feeling crappy that day. In the first few months, I tried a bunch of new things (teas, exercises, recipes, etc.) I set out to rediscover who I am as a non-smoker. If I'm being honest, I cried at the drop of a hat, I was emotional, depressed even. I was irritable for MONTHS. Everything I read said I might be irritable for weeks. I assumed that meant 3-5 weeks, or maybe 8 weeks. I was moody for like 17 weeks. I was at the point of wondering if I would feel this way forever or if I might need medication. Anyway, it passed. Like a cloud on a sunny day, it passed. Things got better. Things got easier.
I had this list of reasons to quit when I began my quit. Right? Everyone has their list. It gives us that initial motivation. What I didn't realize then that is so clear to me now is that when you put action to your good intentions, when you put work in to make positive change in your life, things snowball in the best ways. Even though I was in a bad mood for a while I knew it was worth it. My initial list was about breathing better and coughing less and saving money and smelling good and being more tenacious. I've earned all of those benefits and more. Because I'm saving money, I have more to spend on fancy ingredients for fancy recipes for example. Because I'm breathing better I can work out longer and that has a major impact on my life now and assuming I maintain the habit it will continue to have an impact on my quality of life in my older age. Because I've learned coping skills, I am more tenacious and resilient and rational; I'm a steadier person in my relationships because I'm not smoking away my feelings. I have some new habits like drinking tea and exercising regularly. I made a new friend, too. Out of the blue I have another special person in my life. It's a snowball effect. Good begets good. Momentum breeds more momentum.
I never said it out loud before but before I quit, a driving thought was "imagine what could be different in 6 months". I had smoked for 27 years. What's 6 months out of that amount of time? I'm 40 years old. I'm younger than I ever will be again. I thought, if I can change this one thing, in 6 months everything could be different. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't just skip to the end and BE quit. Wouldn't that be nice? Maybe. But maybe I wouldn't have gotten as much out of it then. As a result of going through the process of quitting, I've changed a lot, I've grown more confident and more capable. I'm stronger both mentally and physically. I can't think of a single negative thing. At 161 days, still short of the 6 month mark, I can look back and see that the addiction that had me chained and helpless is just a ghost. Maybe it will always linger there but it has only the power of a shadow. It took less time than I thought it would and I've gotten so much more out of my quit than I expected. That is all I really wanted to say. Thanks for reading. Thank you all for the tremendous support and great ideas I've gotten along the way.
For anyone with a quit date planned or someone battling themselves wanting to quit and losing the nerve, I hope you find what you need to get started.
“We must use time as a tool, not as a couch.” —John F. Kennedy
