I never, ever, ever would have thought that I would be sitting here, 99 days smoke free! On Day 1 I focused on getting through the minute, the hour, the evening. Now, I'm on day 99 right in the middle of No Man's Land.
Quitting smoking has truly been such a blessing in so many ways. It has been a blessing in all the usual ways of course, the I smell better, I feel better, hey I might live longer ways.... but also in the "finding myself" way. I know it sounds silly...never thought I would "find myself" at almost 40 yrs old and honestly, I always thought the saying was silly.
In college I smoked, after college I smoked, quit when I got pregnant, had my babies (quit for a year and half both times) I went back to smoking, I started working outside of the home again I smoked. See, no matter where in life I went I feel like this smoking thing defined me, followed me, waited for me to come back. It was my hobby, it sucked up my time, my energy, and my self esteem!
I sit here on Day 99 ecstatic that smoking is no longer following me around. It's not a part of me. I said kudos and meant it. Life truly is lovely without it. Don't get me wrong, I thought it sucked at first because that's what nicotine wants you to think. Nicotine doesn't tell me how to think anymore though.
I used to go to the park with my son and hubby. I would not smoke in a park, i was what you call a closet smoker. I would have instead felt miserable and been irritable because although I wanted to enjoy time with my son and the sunshine and all that, I was thinking about how soon I could get home, sneak out on the deck and smoke.
It's all about choices. I have a choice now. We spent hours at the park yesterday riding bikes and enjoying the sunshine. I LOVED IT and I bet my kids did too :)!
I loved the blog Thomas posted about spring and rebirth! There are so many positives to quitting smoking, so what if you have to be uncomfortable for a few days. It's a very small price to pay and much better than being uncomfortable the rest of your life knowing that you smell, you're broke, and you surely are killng yourself slowly.
I will appreciate and nurture this quit every day. I know I have to watch out for the cravings that sneak up on you. I know that summer is coming and can definitely be a trigger, however, I'm spending my time planning all the things I feel comfortable doing AND I've already signed up for 2 5ks this summer. I think switching it up and doing new things will allow me to experience this summer in a different way and give me the power to tell those summer time cravings to bite me 🙂
All the new newbies.... I'm telling you, that first week of being uncomfortable, feeling moody, sleeplessness is all worth it for the freedom that follows. If you want it, you got it... anyone can quit. anyone.
