EX Community

Madeleine0622 · ‎10-05-2020

I’m not really sure what a blog is I’ve never done one before but somebody suggested I do
My user ID is take back my life because that’s exactly how I felt when I joined this site
I just wanted to take the time to introduce myself my name is Madeleine and I started smoking at 14 I quit smoking for the first time at 20 years old I have had numerous quits for numerous years At the time but The five or six times I went back to smoking probably more than that I don’t even know I’ve lost count I got hooked again in a matter of weeks And every time I try to quit again it is hard is the first time I think it might even be harder because the first time I quit I was so excited I was actually able to quit

that kept me going for a long time Now it’s harder For me because I keep telling myself you can quit when you want you’ve done it before anyway this time I’ve been smoking since July after three years of quitting and this is my Third or fourth quit date I feel like such an addict

I smoked about 15 cigarettes yesterday just because I knew I was going to quit today

I bought a pack and smoked A few and then put them in my neighbors front door because I didn’t want to just put water on them and throw them out and she still smokes

I actually snuck back three times and got another cigarette or two out of the box And then put the box back again. Anyway it’s very embarrassing

well today is day one Again and it was a really good day and I was super motivated all day but it was hard on the way home from work that’s One of my triggers

Most of the time I smoke it is Because I feel Lonely or bored

Which sounds absolutely crazy since I am a mother of three happily married and work full-time and I have to go to my moms every other night of the week since my dad died and I am always complaining that I’ve got too much to do

Well enough about me for now I’ll check in again later I’m not sure how this all works as far as the blogs go

SMILINACCOUNTNT · ‎10-05-2020

You got the blog figured out - just write down what is on your mind. The boredom smoking was hard for me to get past. I just had to have a list of little easy things to do that first week or so. Congrats on day one and good luck on day 2 tomorrow. You can do this!

Maki · ‎10-05-2020

You got it ! Thanks for your share and the introduction . Welcome to Ex ... and ... Congratulations .

tyndallgw · ‎10-05-2020

Good blog Madelaine. Your story of quitting and then losing it again is pretty common, myself included. The one thing I've learned from this site is that I can never chance having another smoke or I'll be right back to where I was. I am, and will always be an addict. Kind of hard to admit, but it's true. Just need to remind myself continually of this fact. Enough about me, this site is an excellent source of encouragement, guidance, and support. Come back often and let us know how you are doing.

-George

Trisha76 · ‎10-05-2020

When you stop smoking you have so much more time to do stuff. I was always ashamed of my smoking,

so most of the time I was alone and bored when I was smoking. Take it only one day at a time.

Cousin-Itt · ‎10-06-2020

Hello Madeleine and welcome Your blog was fine. I also told myself I could quit at anytime. The truth is we can. It's a battle but we can It took me a major medical scare before I really totally committed. What helped is the knowledge and support you can receive from sites like the EX they can make quitting more bearable / easier with a little work

Carl

YoungAtHeart · ‎10-06-2020

Welcome to the community!

You wrote a perfect blog! It can be whatever you need it to be. Today's was an introduction - and we know a lot about you now. It can be to vent (instead of smoke), crow when you are proud (instead of smoke), when you take a break and are bored (instead of smoke)....you get the idea!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware. I credit it in large part with my success at quitting. You can search for it online or at your local library.

You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

You didn't mention if you are using nicotine replacement, so I will give you my thoughts on them. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract. I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another. You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them.. For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum. For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for obvious reasons.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced. Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.

You need to distract yourself through any craves. You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game. Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time. You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits. Get busy! Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?" Then DO it. You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

MarilynH · ‎10-06-2020

How are you doing this morning Madeleine Madeleine0622 ? We're all here for you and we're rooting you on, stay close and do the recommended reading above me and keep reading everything you can because there's a wealth of information right here on this site to strengthen your resolve to kick the nicotine poison to the curb permanently it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination BUT thankfully with commitment and perseverance it's doable.....

Madeleine0622 · ‎10-06-2020

Thank you Marilyn for checking in I really appreciate it I am doing OK Not smoking today I didn’t smoke yesterday just having some cravings. I have the afternoon off because I saw my granddaughter off to kindergarten and it was wonderful but Now that I’m home from work a lot earlier than normal I am having a bad craving I hate these cravings I wish they would just go away I know they do I just wish they would go away and never come back I know they don’t want I’m not smoking believe me my longest period was 10 years without smoking and I really really loved it I want to get there again which means not smoking again I know that if I smoke I just prolong the agony I just really hate this addiction Thank you everybody for all your support I’m sitting here reading everybody’s blogs waiting for the craving to pass I’m just feeling the pain

Madeleine0622 · ‎10-06-2020

Thank you for checking on me I really need some support right now I’m having a really bad craving but I know it’ll pass they always do I’m just trying to do some deep breathing and reading everybody’s posts and I feel and everybody support

Madeleine0622 · ‎10-06-2020

Thank you very much for getting back to me I really need everybody’s support right now I was doing great all day until I got home from work And I started craving a cigarette I usually get out at 4:30 but I got home earlier to See my granddaughter off for the first day of kindergarten she is one of my reasons for not wanting to smoke I wanna be there I want to be there to see her get married someday I wanna be there for myself and I want to Be there for my family thank you so much for all that you wrote and all your great suggestions I think I’m gonna make myself a cup of tea right now and start doing some stuff around the house I need to get done actually I have some work to do for work
I know I could choose to smoke a cigarette if I wanted to

But right now in this minute I am choosing not to smoke

I just really find this whole addiction crazy I know in my heart of hearts I know deep down in my soul that I don’t wanna smoke I’ve had so many blessed years without smoking so many wonderful years and I’ve had so many lousy years smoking I really really really wish that voice in my head would go away and never come back the rest of my life I really need to stick close to the site I never wanna have 10 years again and completely blow it

Believe me I know once I get past the first couple weeks it will go away and it will be a lot easier

Madeleine0622 · ‎10-06-2020

Thank you for reaching out to me I really appreciate your support guess what I’m An accountant too
I really appreciate your best wishes and I will definitely keep close to the site because I Truly want this to be my last quit day I’m so tired of this torture Thank you again so very much

Giulia · ‎10-06-2020

That's exactly how it works as far as blogs go. We speak of our experiences along the quit smoking/vaping journey. We ask questions, we present ideas, we vent, we announce our victories and discuss our failures. We share what's going on in the struggle, not only in the hopes of having others encourage us and hold us up when the going gets tough, but to help others who are struggling too, so that they too know they're not alone in what they're going through.

I've had the same experience as you in that the first time I quit it was exciting! A new adventure. Then with each succeeding quit it became harder and harder. That's one of the reasons I'm still quit. I'm not sure I have another quit in me and I REALLY never want to go back to another day one. One of the things that helped me was writing little sayings on sticky notes which I put around the house where my eye would catch them. I was my own cheerleader. Things like YES YOU CAN! - I GET TO VS I HAVE TO - OH STOP WHINING - ATTITUDE STUPID! - WHEN NOTHING IS CERTAIN EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE..... etc. And on the door going out I had something like like "What am I to learn today?" /blogs/Giulia-blog/2020/01/08/why-its-harder-to-quit-after-each-relapse

You just have to find the psychological and emotional hook that spurs you on. For me it's taking things as a fun challenge and a means of growth. And quitting is certainly that! /blogs/Giulia-blog/2018/11/20/make-quitting-your-passion

Trisha76 · ‎10-06-2020

I loved what you said about the nicotine replacement aids as I had been wondering about them. I gave up the patches two weeks ago at 21 mg as they seem to make me want the cigarette more. I am having more problems with the gum currently at 4 mg. Went 3 days without any gum (at 57 days now) but today I got really angry at waiting for an hour to get a flu shot (really unusual for me) and the intense craving made me take a piece of gum two hours later as I could not calm myself down. I am so disappointed that I gave in. I can tell I need to give up the gum too as it stays in the back of my mind. Trying to allow myself more time but feeling like a failure here. Thanks for your advice.