I don’t even think I should be on this site

[Carmensan]

Been failing daily. I don’t know who can relate to this. Going to blog about just in case there are others like me out there. I feel like I’m smoking more maybe because I have this “I’m going to quit tomorrow” stuck in my head to the point I’m making up so much excuses to smoke that “ just one more stick “ cigarette.  

Maybe my job is stressful as working for customer service. You have many idiots with no common sense. You got yourself on repeat. Sometimes I feel like I should record my self just so I can play it back for these customers that keep having to have me repeat myself. 

This one lady got mad at me because her hair dryer was broken. Long story short... I had to keep a smile on my face, hold my composure annnnd she asked me to return her time... not to be mean but I’m more like “ look here b**** , no one is gonna care how your f***** hair looks lik”  and like I can return her time.. (rolling eyes) in my head of course. Anyway, I have more stories to tell about these kinds of situations but this is not the point of my blog lol gonna stick to becoming an ex and not make this a venting sesh or blog lol 

Since in hard headed. Nothing scares me. But then I’m scared to be hooked on to a life support machine but half of me is like, well other people go through them so if I did, I’ll have to go through it like everyone else. 

Everybody has their time to expire and it’s set but we just don’t know. When and how your gonna go. 

Not or sure if my low self esteem has a lot to do with this. I have my occational outburst of social anxiety. I’m surprised I’m okay to work as a customer service agent. Good at what I do. When work is done I don’t even want to see people. I don’t want to go out even to eat at restaurants. I like online shopping and online bill pay is so awesome. When I go out and service sucks it pissed the crap out of me because of the work I do I end up feeling it isn’t fair to be treated so shitty when at work I’m not allowed to put some customers in their place .. freaking brats lol not allowed to treat people like shit cus what comes around goes around. My mind is running wild even as I sleep.. so I smoke 

anyway I can go on and on about ransom crap so I’ll just end this here

im having a hard time quitting. And everyone saying it’s so easy just go cold turkey ... battling with my self every time I pick up a cig.. it’s bavk to square one. Or I feel gross smoking I’m really gonna quit after this ( on repeat)  smh I do have an addictive personality so it doesn’t help 

I experimented with all kinds of bad stuff and gladly I’m happy to have quit all of those and I’m suck with cigs 

this is my big project.. mission quit cigs! I hope it’s not to late for me. And I hope I can still do this 

I bought me a planner.. I hope it’ll work lol 

[YoungAtHeart]

Of COURSE you should be here.  We want to help...but you have to be willing to commit to this.

Seems to me you mind is your worst enemy.  STOP with the excuses; stop with the arguing with yourself about it; stop telling yourself reasons not to be successful. 

As your mind goes, so goes your life.  Instead - tell yourself you CAN, that you ARE worth it.  Write down why you want to quit - review it often.  Find other things to think about.  Take slow/deep breaths, going slower and deeper, following their path through your body and then back out when you feel stressed.   Get busy when you think of smoking....it takes effort on your part in the early days....I gave you a list of 100 things to do instead of smoke.  Pick out ones you think will work for you, and write them down as a reference.  Do ALL of them  - then start over and do them again.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you at all times from which to sip.  Keep some sugarfree gums or mints, maybe some flavored toothpicks, maybe some flavored toothpicks or Fireballs. 

Commit!  This isn't easy, but it is doable.  The fact that you are here tells me you want to quit.

Do it!

Nancy

[JACKIE1-25-15]

You should be here because this the right place to get support to quit smoking.  What you are going through is not unusual.  There is a nagging push and pull with quitting.  It is called addiction.  Quitting smoking is not easy.  You have to relearn thinking and behavior which takes time and commitment to do so.  You have to learn new ways of doing and replacing the bad with good behavior.  There is no miracle to quitting. It takes hard work.You have to educate yourself about nicotine addiction.  You have to make a plan and work the plan.    Are you willing to put in the work is the question? With quitting smoking you have to make an investment.  An investment in time to read, study and reprogram the brainwashing that you have to have a smoke.  Be willing to take advice.  Come here often. No matter what work on NOPE it will set you free.  Are you reading the suggested material?  Bookend your days here it may make a difference.  We will support you. 

[Barbscloud]

I don't believe there are too many people here that say it's easy.  Cold turkey is an option.  Many people on this site have used NRT to quit.  If you need an aid, by all means use one.  The key is education about this addiction and preparing for your quit.  And, of course we're here to support you.  I know I needed the support on this site to be successful.

Barb

[Mandolinrain]

Yes, your right where you need to be. Numerous failed quits you say? I was the queen of them. Low self esteem, yup, been there too. MANY people who smoke or are former smokers can relate to everything you're saying. You are no surprise to us. That is why this site is valuable , because we are ALL valuable and worthy to be done with the cigarettes and your no exception.

Is not an easy road to travel and while there are those who have managed without much difficulty to quit smoking I would say the larger percent of us have all gone through some ruff times as we laid the smokers down for good. Please stick around.

 You have much to gain and nothing to lose by coming here to this site. As you read through many peoples quits journeys you will relate to some and other not at al. Take what you need and leave the rest. The great thing is....they all quit so something worked, yes? 

No matter your life situation, life itself will not stop when you quit smoking. The same pain in the Arse people will still be shopping and returning hairdryers. The difference is now you have to adjust to LIFE without the crutch of a smoke. And its not all its cracked up to be. Personally I found out that when I quit smoking I had habitually lite a smoke after before and during ( whenever I could) to adjust to a situation, good or bad. Smoking was MY relief to everything.

You will find your way here and we will help you if you allow us. You still have to do the homework. You still have to make the choice between instant gratification and quitting. Whichever choice you fees is the one that will get stronger.

Welcome to Ex. I hope your here to stay, we are here for you because someone was here for us.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Customer service.

It does sound stressful.

As long as you make cigarettes available to smoke, you likely will.

Sometimes simple changes can break a pattern.

When you decide to quit, everything will fall into place.

You will keep smoking until then.

Willingness not willpower

[JonesCarpeDiem]

PS

I don't know if I could have gone cold turkey because I used the patch and only quit once.

I didn't do the whole suggested course of treatment but, I believed they were working.

When I forgot 2 days in a row, I assumed my body didn't need it any longer and I put one in my wallet with a promise I would put it on rather than smoke.

90% of quitting and staying quit is a head game.

You decide who's running the show.

[elvan]

You have gotten some great advice from those who already posted.  I am not sure who these people are who are telling you it is easy to quit smoking.  That has certainly not been MY experience.  I had more than one failed quit, I did irreversible damage to my lungs by smoking...this is NOT worth it.  I would not wish my shortness of breath and fatigue on anyone.  If I could go back and talk to my younger self, I would try to get through but I would have to make sure that my younger self KNEW that Education about this ADDICTION, Support from people who have been there, and my own commitment to quit smoking one day at a time or one hour at a time, no matter what, would pull me through.  A successful quit is a gift you have to give to yourself.  No one can do it for you but we certainly want to help you as much as we can.  Smoking helps nothing, it fixes nothing, all the while you are smoking, damage is being done, don't regret that you didn't quit, quit and you will NEVER regret THAT.  Read everything you can about nicotine addiction, set a date, make a PLAN to quit My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX , track your cigarettes, figure out when and why you smoke, and plan for other things to do, and COMMIT to a quit.  You will have all kinds of support here if you stick around and read blogs and pay attention to what has worked for others.  Many people have been in situations that are unthinkable and have successful quits...this is a journey, it is not an event.  If one day at a time is too long, make it one hour or one minute or one SECOND.  The bottom line is that you CAN do this, you have to be willing to accept that it might be hard sometimes.  Believe it or not, your stress level will DECREASE when you stop pumping chemicals into your body. 

Best to you,

Ellen

[Beck37]

Your story sounds very much like mine. Have worked customer service my entire life and yes people can be horrible. I also hide out on my time off and  think bill pay and shopping on line is amazing. Also have an addictive personality and had quit everything else in my life. Smoked for 37+ years, and guess what today is my 25th day of not smoking and yes I did it cold turkey. 

Quitting smoking is is the most difficult thing I have ever done, but once I made up my mind to do it I was not going to let myself down by failing and I just bet you are the same way. I think it is all about attitude and going in with the right frame of mind. The people on this site are here for us and everyone has gone thru the same thing. My biggest piece of advice would be to “stay out of your head”. Just like when dealing with someone difficult, when you get that craving just shake it off and move on. 

If if you can work customer service without killing anyone, you’ve got this...... 

Beck

[JonesCarpeDiem]

/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2019/01/18/saying-i-dont-do-that-anymore-when-you-think-of-s... 

[AnnetteMM]

From what I've read in your post you're succeeding brilliantly:

Gonna die anyway, so smoke!

People suck, so smoke!

It's harder than I thought, smoke!

There's plenty of time, I can smoke!

As long as you continue to lie to yourself, this will be your life.

Choose a different path.

[Christine13]

I know exactly how you feel. You DO belong here.  Everyone has given you very helpful advice and me too.

No access to smokes helps and making up your mind that you really want to get this done!!

I've had many failed quits.

[Bonnie]

Way to go on 25 days!  I love "if you can work customer service without killing anyone, you've got this".  I've been cashiering for 10 months and didn't go back to smoking (had a couple of months under my belt) due to the stress of the job...had done that too many times before.

[Bonnie]

This is right where you belong...we won't give up on you...don't give up on yourself.  I read somewhere that the majority of people who keep trying to quit eventually do, but to keep going back to DAY ONE is much harder than adding one SMOKEFREE day to another...trust me, I know, as a "serial quitter."

It does get easier....I HAVE MANY DAYS/WEEKS IN A ROW WHERE I DON'T THINK ABOUT SMOKING AT ALL EXCEPT WHEN I COME HERE, and coming here doesn't make me want to smoke, it makes me glad that I have a year now under my belt (and I started working retail during that time and I know of what you speak).  It is amazing and true and it can happen for you. You just gotta do the deal...it IS up to you...

Life can be very hard and definitely isn't fair, but no matter what, LIFE IS BETTER WITHOUT NICOTINE.  Your self-esteem will improve, your health with improve, your finances will improve and it is something within your control--YOU can make your life better with one simple decision...you just gotta stick with it.

Every time I "tried to quit" and failed, my spirits and my self-esteem plunged...but no matter what happened each day that I kept my quit, I could wake up the next morning and feel good about myself, that I hadn't once again given in.

You can do it, too, but it IS up to you...you can come here and vent anytime,  I did and it made all the diff..

OOPS, this was supposed to be for Carmensan‌

Bonnie

[Beck37]

Thanks so much. Customer service is one of the toughest jobs out there.... But as my mom always told me, I would be stressed out flipping hamburgers. Life can be tough and I’ve discovered smoking really didn’t make it any less stressful. It did however get stressful always trying to figure out when I would be able to smoke again. Don’t get me wrong I want to smoke BAD, but I won’t cause I won’t let myself down....

Sent from my iPad

[Nanalori]

You are worth it!!! I found the nicorette patches and cinnamon toothpicks along with cinnamon sticks very helpful thru those moments. They may come frequently but they do go away!!! Hang in there 

[maryfreecig]

      Be patient and focus on accepting that it is you who wishes to quit. Try to ignore thinking--if only my work wasn't so stressful, if only I didn't have an addictive personality--low self esteem. That kind of worrying only sets you up to think that you cannot quit. You can, just like many of us have. You are not a defect, just a smoker who wants to quit and there is a way out.  Thanks for blogging. Stick with Ex, even if you are not sure when you will quit.

[Barb102]

You definitely belong here with us. Take all the wonderful advice you are given by the Elders. We have all felt like you. You can and will do this. No one comes on this site unless they want to quit and want help. We are here for you every step up the way. No one starts a quit and says Gee this is easy!!  It isn’t   But it’s doable And the best part is you are not alone and you can do it. You got this. Take the pledge each day. We all do. It’s empowering. Stay with us and we promise we will help you

[crazymama_Lori]

if cold turkey is too hard on you, it certainly was for me, try the patch.  I couldn't set a quit date.  I remember sitting there thinking to myself, I can't imagine myself not smoking.  I've never not smoked since I was 16.  I just turned 60.  Hopefully you catch my post I just put up, https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/19775-we-all-could-use-some-tips-and-tricks .  the first month try to keep yourself as busy as possible.  you'll be distracted, so make it a habit to write yourself notes.  I know with myself the patch helped a great deal.  I was wearing a patch and a half in the beginning step 1.  I was a heavy smoker.  This site is the best thing for you, because you'll find that you're not alone in this fight and what you're going through and will be going through is perfectly normal.  Stick with it...... you won't regret that you did

[MarilynH]

We're all here to help you in any way we can you're in the right place because we're all on this quit journey together we're all in different places in our quits BUT we are here to support each other and we're here to support too, chin up and believe in yourself ,deep breaths and know that you can and will be successful one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time, you can do it. .......

[Sootie]

Everyone belongs here if they want to quit smoking. And I sense you do want to quit.......you just realize it will be difficult and so you are pushing it away. Don't do that. And, please-------I hope you take this the right way----- but don't use false bravado about being on life support machines. You certainly don't want to be on one...no one does. You are correct that none of us knows what the future holds.......but we certainly don't need to work towards life support.

I feel you really don't want to be smoking but you just are afraid of the process of quitting. It is difficult....no sense in lying. But it is doable.....sounds like you do a difficult job and do it well...so you CAN do this.

I suggest you go to whyquit.com and read about how smoking is really causing you stress rather than helping your stress. They have articles on there that really address all of the false things we think smoking is "doing" for us and why we can't quit.

Welcome to EX......we are all here for each other.

Stay Strong.

[Thomas3.20.2010]

We could share unforgettable customer service stories for days....I also have social anxiety - maybe because I'm so good at Customer Service, you think? Idk. Anyway I have all kinds of anxiety...

You see, I'm on 24/7 oxygen therapy and I promise you it isn't just chance or bad luck or whoever's will! It's me being stupid and smoking when I knew I had lung problems. Be smart - don't go there! There are worse things than dying - like dying sloooooooooowly! 

....And I have 3227 days of Freedom from addiction - yes, nicotine was the last to go and one of the Nico-Lies I told myself was "well, at least it's only cigarettes!" truth be told every year tobacco kills more Americans than did World War II — more than AIDS, cocaine, heroin, alcohol, vehicular accidents, homicide and suicide combined. So no it's not luck!

How much is 3227 days, you may be wondering - or not - but I'll tell you anyway, it's 8 years,  9 months, 4 weeks and 1 day. That matters to me a lot! I may have been stupid enough to get myself into this 24/7 oxygen therapy mess but I was smart enough to quit just 6 days after I was diagnosed. 

So are you, Carmensan‌ in the right place? It doesn't matter what I think - what matters is "What do you think?" Isn't it about time to wise up before your "luck" runs out?

He!! no it wasn't easy! Nothing truly worthwhile is! But speaking for myself - it was the best decision I ever made!

You can do this! One way is to stop buying the da#& things! Get mad - not at yourself - at nicotine which is robbing of so very much - of yourself!

I'll hop off my soap box now...

[Sootie]

Thomas3.20.2010‌  Well---you can hop off for now and take a rest....but hop right back on that soap box soon!!! Because we need you on that box!

[Giulia]

You have a heartful of wise and caring word from a lot of heavy duty Elders here and newer quitters.  Please listen to them.