I'm not really sure what is going on but I've been having some serious cravings. I'm actually kind of scared to go anywhere...there are convenience stores everywhere that would love for me to stop in and buy some cigarettes.
It was a really nice day out today but I spent it inside watching television or napping.
Lots of stuff running around in my head that I'm hiding from, too. My birthday is coming up (how the heck did I get this old so fast?) as well as the anniversary of my husband's death. He was only 51 and had had a stroke. I had to make the decision to terminate life support and hold him as he left his world.
I haven't smoked and don't want to. Even if I did smoke the only thing that would change would be that I would be angry with myself for having smoked.
Life is difficult.