Day 41

[jordan-doyle]

Today has been a kind of up and down day for me. In regards to smoking, im still cool with that, i don't want to smoke, but other problems in my life are incredibly persuasive in edging me towards smoking. One of them is exams and the rest i wont mention, but it seems when i get REALLY REALLY stressed i automatically want a cigerette.

Earlier, i became incredibly conscious about the fact that i was missing smoking, however, i was missing the good times. The break away from everything, the relaxation, the not worrying about anything; i was basically craving a fag. However, what i found incredible was the urge for my body to immediately show the other side of me smoking. The chesty cough, the hard times sleeping, the grogginess, the smelliness, the lower money and less relaxation in social situations. I couldn't quite come to terms with what i had done, but i realised that many other parts of my body were being helped aswell.

Exams are difficult. Finding work is hard. Having other difficulties on top of this put a strain, but this time i got over it. I got over it better and i didn't need a cigarette.

Thats the past now and i can leave cigarettes behind me to a world that existed for a while, was on the whole not enjoyable and stressed me out more.

I am happy and content overall