It's day One!!
My QuitKeeper says;
I have been quit for 22 hours, 10 minutes and 55 seconds (0 days). I have saved $3.04 by not smoking 11 cigarettes. I have saved 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 11/14/2010 11:06 PM
Today has been both easier and harder than I thought. I have felt amazingly strong most of the day... the physical cravings and withdrawals are not that bad. The nicotine gum helps, plus Sour Skittles. I've just been staying busy. I got a lot of housework done! I've had so much support and I feel great!
On the other hand, I have had extreme moments of weakness. The thought of how easy it would be, how nice it would be, to just smoke one cigarette....
I'll level with you...
I spent 3 years of my life addicted to Meth and Cocaine. I've been clean for almost ten years. The withdrawals and physical symptoms of coming off of those drugs are extreme... and the withdrawals of nicotine are like a mosquito bite compared to having your whole body covered with burns. It seems silly and petty to think that this is harder than getting off of those drugs.... but....
When I quit those drugs, I had no money, I moved away to somewhere that I didn't know anyone, I separated myself from the people I knew who had the drugs, and away from the temptation. Was it hard? YES. But I got myself away from the situation, I made a clean cut. With cigarettes, there is nowhere you can really go to get a clean cut like that. There are always cigarettes in grocery stores and gas stations. You don't have to have 20 or 50 dollars to get a fix, but just $5 buys you a whole pack! Or, I could always ask someone for a cigarette. I'm sure a neighbor would give me one, or even a complete stranger. So in that sense, quitting smoking IS harder than getting off of hard drugs.
I'm not saying I can't do it...I feel strong. I feel happy. I feel SO SO SO PROUD of myself. I just know that I will have those moments when I have to FIGHT. I never thought I'd have to fight for my life like this again, the way that I did when I got off the drugs nearly 10 years ago. I thought I was beyond all that fighting and struggling. I think I've minimized the effect of smoking in my mind... because... it's not crack and it's not Meth so how bad can it be? But in reality, this is a fight for my life... as much as that was! I can't give up, I've got to keep fighting!
