Guess it's time to start this thing? I've made it past 50 days and I'm proud of myself
It hasn't been easy but the motivation is there. I have some major orthopedic surgeries coming up that I have been told won't happen if I'm still smoking - pretty good way to motivate one's self!
My anxiety and stress levels have been high, working with a therapist who is helping me a lot with all of that stuff. Having the right tools makes a big difference.
The only down side I've really experienced has been the weight gain =( I have mobility issues (hip surgery is an arthroscopic revision and preservation surgery, knee needs to be replaced also and of course those parts are on opposite sides!) so exercise isn't an option and I'm stuck at home (not working due to injury since my original surgery in Feb 2021) and I love to cook. This is NOT a good combination LOL Trying my best to keep busy and out of trouble, it doesn't always work.
I'm home alone a lot and find myself spiraling in my own head sometimes. It's funny though, my dogs definitely know when Momma is having a bad day - they're either absolute morons and keep me distracted by being BAD or they're super cuddly and clingy. Since one is 136 pounds and the other one is 3 1/2 pounds they have me pretty well covered. We have long conversations sometimes - they're amazing listeners and they never tell your secrets!
The other way I've been working through everything is my own private journal - I've been actively journaling since 2002 in a private blog with only a few people having access. They've been wonderfully supportive and though we've never met IRL I consider them some of my closest friends - they've been with me through my highest highs, lowest lows and everything in between.
I guess that's about it for me for now, thanks for listening....
