Hi family!
Cannot say thank you enough for all of the wonderful, heartfelt messages. Cannot express adequately in words how much all of the support has meant to me! Test results from yesterday were normal. Doctor says that is a blessing because there is nothing that test will reveal that is a good thing. I am blessed not to have been diagnosed with anything serious. Praise be to God.
That said, it is a bit confusing and dare I say frustrating, because they really have no certainty re: what is causing my problems. I see the doctor again in two weeks. For now, he says he thinks it is a huge change in lifestyle that caused my system to kind of go into an uproar. (No nicotine plus massive shift in nutrition - from junk food to veggies, high protein, low carb). So, this is where patience comes in on my part which is not one of my strong suits. Doctor has prescribed a non-habit forming medication that should help me some, but says to continue to eat my new healthy program because he cannot see anything I am consuming that is problematic. In other words, even if I have IBS (he is not really convinced I do), the way I am currrently eating is supportive of relief for that problem, in time. I do not do well in gray areas so this is where faith has to come in. Oh boy!
I also saw my nutritionist today, who has uncovered some food allergies via blood testing. Turns out that some of my favorite foods (some I eat daily) are allegedly causing inflammation. So, I am going to cut those out for a few months then slowly reintroduce them to see whether or not they are truly a problem. Ok, so this is the hard part for me. Some of these foods are staples for me. On the one hand, I am trying to maintain a positive attitude i.e. - - I am blessed to have a nutritionist, maybe some of these foods were causing some of my GI probs, I am blessed to have health insurance, I am in good health, etc. On the other hand, frankly, because I come here as my honest self, I am really struggling (well, I'm fuming actually) because I already have cut out many things I like from my diet (or limit to them to a time where I am going to have a planned cheat meal). I don't know how much more "depravation" I can handle! I am not deprived by not smoking. That, I know. But, tell me I am allergic to coffee, tomatos (some here would say what's the big deal? well, I am on a high protein diet and when you take away my meatloaf and bbq sauce and ketchup I get miffed!), chocolate, spinach, pork, and aged cheese I get pissed! You see, cutting out coffee can cause GI problems. Plus, by turning to a high veggie, high protein diet, I had regularly been consuming things like spinach salad with blue cheese crumbles, meat loaf, pork chops, and... my only sweet indulgence which was high cocoa dark chocolate. The only fish recipe I liked was pistachio crusted. I tested highly allergic to pistachios but not any other freakin' nut! So, I am in a what the F___ am I supposed to eat now place. Seriously, my nutritionist could read my face and I go back to see her again Friday. She could tell that I was about to say at the very least, "I can only eat so much chicken damnit."
Family I wanted to come here today with jubilation. I DO praise God that I do not have anything seriously wrong. I also praise God for this family. I also praise God that maybe some of these foods I will eliminate really are a problem and if so, thank God I can find out. But I cannot be here with my cheerleader outfit on this afternoon. I just can't. I have to be honest that I feel as though I keep bumping into walls. It's like my husband said, "why didn't the nutritionist test you for these allergies before you started on her program."
I quit smoking. Best thing I've ever done for my health, bar none.No wall bumping there.
I started eating healthy. Good going Stacie, but damn if now some of the healthy foods I turned to aren't a total potential problem. I feel frustrated that I have been climbing uphill for over 100 days to try to lose weight and if I truly am allergic to these foods well no wonder it has been so hard to lose weight. I eat spinach salad w/ blue cheese about 4 nights a week . If I'm allergic to spinach and blue cheese well hell's bells, no wonder I have had problems losing the weight and haven't been feeling all that great!
I started exercising. This one is great too, but frankly, I don't see much in the way of results yet.
I suppose the best way to look at this is... I abused my body for a very long time. I smoked and overate very junky food. Now, I am looking to restore my body.
I have worked very hard to beat an addiction that is one of the hardest to break, period.
I am eating healthier and perhaps, when I reintroduce some of these foods, perhaps my body won't have a reaction. That is entirely possible. (They allow you to reintroduce them one at a time after the inflammatory response in the body has had 3 months to not be faced with the particular food. That shows whether there was a false positive or not...).
I am working out and that is good for me even if I haven't really achieved much in the way I would like to look. Working out at all is better than not working out, and now, when I work out, I can actually breathe.
Thank you for allowing me to come here to vent. I apologize that this is not one of my more uplifting blogs. But I must come here as the true self or why come at all.
Thank you Lord for helping me quit smoking with the help of this family here. I would not trade anything for this freedom. I publicly pray Lord that you will show my body how to heal and give me patience to let it heal not just from nicotine and toxins that are still coming out, but also from food abuse. Help me Lord to have patience and know that a body that has been abused for so long is not going to be firing at 100% in just 110 days.
God bless you my family,
Love, Stacie
