A Rant From a Recovering Addict

[jennie2]

HELP!!! When does it end? I am working on 45 days now and sometimes the cravings get so bad I could kill something or someone. Tonight at work, I work in a call center and call ppl on past due bills, so just imagine some of the SHIT (sorry, no other word) I deal with from ppl, I had a come apart on a guy who I wasn't even calling for. He just pushed some buttons and I wasn't in the mood. I stood up to get a manager and guess what, mine wasn't there again. I was saying to a co-worker I couldn't find my manager, to which she replied he's probably outside smoking do you need one? I said yes I haven't had one in 43 days. She was, of course, confused because she meant a manager. It is kind of funny now that I have calmed down, but in the heat of the moment it was almost desperate and I know I looked and sounded like a crazy person. But the people around me are still smoking so they don't understand no longer having the one thing that can calm you down. So what's the point in getting upset because you can just go outside and smoke a cigarette, right? NO!!!

[hwc]

Smoking doesn't calm you down. The fact that you believe that it does suggests that it would be a good idea to spend a little extra time hitting the ncoitine addiction educaton materials. It sounds like you are associating normal stress with smoking -- a false association. I'm sure that people who have never even touched a cigarette go off on people in your job. It happens.

Now, the good news. You aren't even to the really good part of your quit yet. The feeling you experienced are perfectly normal at day 45. At least they were for me. I didn't have my first full day without wanting a cigarette until about day 70. You are doing great! Don't let the fact that everything isn't perfect yet rob you of the satisfaction of knowing that you are kicking this addiciton in the ass.

[Sandra3]

hwc is so right (usually is) smoking does not calm you down. It simply removes you from the stressful situation you are dealing with at the time. Take a deeep breath and regroup when you feel that feeling begin because that is all you are doing with a cigarette except when you take the deep breath of smoke you are killing yourself very slowly. Hang in there you are doing so well and it is so worth it when you get to the point that you don't want one each day.

[michael45]

day 45 is better than day 7 right?
So day 90 will be better than 45

I am at a 50 weeks... Its a whole bunch better... But my advice is dont worry about the future.... just get through it one day at a time...
JUST DONT SMOKE TODAY!

[lee5]

Jennie, You can get through this. I had very hard cravings around the 30, 40 and 45 day marks. I really thought I wasnt going to make it during those times but once I got past 45 it has been a lot easier and I finally feel free. I just kept thinking about how I didnt want to give up the time I had put into it already. You have made it this far...just keep trying to make it another day and you will succeed. You can always write me if you need support.

[NancyJC]

Go ahead and rant away. Smoking cigarettes does not get rid of stress. HWC is SOOO right.

[dawn4]

JUST DON"T SMOKE TODAY! WOW, do i agree with that, Michael. I can anyalze and and rationalize and whine my way around anything. but in the end it can all be broken down into one simple statement.

hwc is right, non-smokers have the same stressors in life, and they dont need to go out and have a cigarette. WE have brainwashed our own selves into thinking that we MUST have our drug in order to do life.

[edith2]

There are so many jobs out there available for collection agencies. Just reading what you're going through is the reason I won't work for one. I've been on the other end too. It's like a rock and a hard place. They're just doing their job and I have no money. I really emphathize with you. I drive cab, and business has gotten so bad. I sat there last night and got maybe 5 calls and barely made any money. I didn't fill the tank even though we're supposed to because the day driver insists on smoking in the cab even though the company doesn't allow smoking in the cabs. So everytime I drive, I get into a stinky cab. So I figured that leaving the day driver with 1/2 a tank would get their attention. No matter what, I refuse to smoke for any reason. There is none. You can get through this, inspite of life.

[jennie2]

Thank you everyone for the advice. I never thought about it like that, but it is true. Non-smokers deal with stress and there are alot of non-smokers at my work, and they have come aparts every now and then too. And it is true I do have some new stress going on at the same time. A problem at work and a problem with friends/family and both came about the same week. I know it is a mental thing with the cigarettes helping relieve stress, but it is a strong mental thing. I'll make it, how can I not with this kind of support.

[pat3]

Smoking does not get rid of stress- how true. When people ask me if I smoke I say" I hope not! If you ever see me smoking, please call 911 because it will mean I am on fire." I get some strange looks, but it sure makes me feel good. I don't feel like I am missing anything good by not smoking. You will feel that way too. Just keep on NOT SMOKING!