6 months

[Gail561]

They say when you are grieving you go back to old habits and ways. In my case I will not return to smoking. It wouldn’t make sense to hurt me with all the chemicals in cigarettes to numb the pain. It would only make me weaker not stronger. I usually haven’t been writing about my hurt and sadness as much as I learn to survive without my best friend. Rest of assure I have no packs of smokes around nor am I running to the nearest convenience store to get more. It’s not a sign of weakness to slip when in a state of shock to be angry about what happened 6 months ago. It’s a hard thing to let go that shattered my world. With the help of everyone here you’ve helped me through my sadness by listening to me and allowing me to vent. Yes tears still fall but I not lighting up. I need to keep my COPD under control and smoking makes it worse. I just wanted to say thanks for the ones who reach out to me and checks on me from time to time as a widow journey not easy. This half of year has not been easy one. 
if someone grieving like me can stay off the smokes you can too. Find your motivation to stay away from them and make yourself a priority. You are the one that needs to protect you as I need to do the same.