It is my 12th day of not smoking and I am doing ok. I might go to my aunts house this Friday to visit her while my husband is away. I know I shouldn't because she is a smoker, but it has been bugging me that I dont have any friends here and I hardly get to see family. It feels so lonely. I want my kids to have a fun time while they are on summer vacation. She said that she will go outside to smoke and I asked her if we could go to the beach. It will be a 7 hour trip. Things are going alright as far as my cravings go.Yesterday I took my kids to the mall just to look at things, but we didn't buy anything. We just had dinner there. I didn't think I could do it because of my panick attacks, but I did! Then later I took my daughter on her bike and my son on his skateboard( while I walked) to some park that is in housing to be with some kids. They were playing football and riding their bikes and skooters. Having a fun time. That always brings a smile to my face. Well, I miss my husbnd really bad too. I think I am doing a good job taking my mind off of things. I have been binging the past couple days though. I shouldn't brought that junk food into my house. I haven't jumped on the cross-trainer in a long time. That kinda sucks for me. I can't believe I haven't had cigarettes for almost 2 weeks! And I don't want them anymore! Sure I crave them sometimes, but I am not going to go out and buy a pack and then have to start all over again. I would just be addicted again and I don't want it controlling my life. I am still really fragile with this still, but I know I could do it. God is here with me and He is proud of me. Well, I will write more tomorrow...anything that is on my mind cause if anything is bothering me I should blog it or it could affect my chances of being smoke-free!
Annie
